Let’s face it. Everyone has a bad day now and then. And it doesn’t matter if we’re in early recovery or have been clean and sober for many years. We can still get bogged down inside our head, worrying over this or that or trying hard to overcome a particularly thorny issue or problem.

Naturally, we will find ourselves facing challenges in recovery. Everyone does. But it’s when we allow our negative thoughts to take over and continue unabated and unchallenged that we can find ourselves getting into trouble in our recovery. It’s at such a juncture when we need to take stock of our situation and begin an immediate course correction. By that we mean taking some time to think about what we have to feel grateful for, instead of what’s bad or missing from our lives right now.

If we fail to do an about-face and correct our bad attitude, we’ll be chipping away at our foundation of recovery. And that’s never a good thing, but it isn’t impossible to turn around.

Just how does having a bad attitude hamper recovery? Let’s start at the beginning. If we constantly churn out negative thoughts, we’re sabotaging our efforts to do what we need to for ourselves in recovery. We’re likely to be unmotivated to take action and that results in no change. When we don’t change, we don’t make any progress toward our goals. Indeed, we find it tougher and tougher to even think of goals, let alone craft any plans toward achieving them. So, right from the outset, if we allow ourselves to think bad things, not much good is going to come out of it.

Another way that a bad attitude hampers recovery is that we’re not very pleasant to be around. That can make encouraging and supporting us extremely difficult, whether it’s our sponsor or 12-step group members or our loved ones and family members. Not that they won’t continue to try to assist us, but it will be more of a challenge for them. And, while we’re still engaging in our bad attitude and putting others off, once again, we’re not taking any steps toward healing.

Maybe we have such a low opinion of ourselves that we cannot see past the harm we’ve done to others and ourselves. Our mind is so filled up with thoughts of all the bad things we’ve said and done in the past that we just can’t seem to move beyond our current negative state. We’re, in essence, in a state of paralysis, also not good for our recovery.

Stuck in the past, thinking bad thoughts, projecting a bad attitude so that others distance themselves from us – is this what we want for ourselves in recovery? The honest answer should be no, of course not. But not all of us are used to being honest with ourselves, or anyone else, for that matter. It takes practice to work on opening up, and it’s hard to open up when we feel so locked up and closed in by what’s bothering us.

Recognizing that our bad attitude is hurting our recovery efforts is the first step in changing our outlook. We do need to allow ourselves the permission to change, in order for us to then move forward and take the steps to change. Surely we have some kind of dream, or have had a dream about what we want for ourselves in this life. Now that we’re clean and sober, we’ve left our addictive past behind us and have a fresh start. That should count for a lot and can be a strong motivator in helping us move out of our negative thoughts and toward a healthier outlook.

Ask for help from our sponsor, fellow group members, and our loved ones and family. Whether we believe it or not, they’re all here to assist us. If we are among those who lack a family, make our 12-step group and other support groups our family. It’s not that they do the work for us, but their encouragement and solidarity of purpose in our overall recovery will help us immensely as we strive to make our way in recovery.

When we hear about someone having "attitude," we may think that this is a bad thing. Actually, we all have an attitude. Sometimes our attitude is good, and sometimes it is something else altogether. But let’s look at the roots of attitude and how it pertains, in the very best sense, to our life in recovery.

First, we need to believe in ourselves. If that’s having an attitude, so be it. We won’t get anywhere without a belief in ourselves and our ability to achieve our goals. In fact, without believing in ourselves we’re likely to find it difficult if not impossible to figure out our goals at all.

The crux of the problem for many of us in recovery, especially in early recovery, is that no one else much believes in us. That makes it doubly hard for us to find anything worthwhile in ourselves to believe in. But that doesn’t mean that we aren’t worthy. We should never make that value judgment about ourselves, even though the tendency to do so is very strong after we’ve been down so long because of our addiction.

Still, there needs to be a shred of hope somewhere deep inside, a faint glimmer that shows us we have a desire to go forward in recovery. We may not totally believe in ourselves just yet, but there’s something there, even if we have a tough time ferreting it out.

What can help is talking with our 12-step sponsor and listening to how others found believe in themselves through the stories related in the rooms. Everyone who’s in recovery has been through the experience of self-doubt and lack of self-confidence. They know what it feels like and, more importantly, what worked for them to overcome those negative feelings and get on with the business of recovery and life.

Each time we acknowledge a difficulty and seek help to overcome an issue or problem, we become a little stronger in our ability to withstand such a situation the next time. This gives us a big gold star for effort, as well as accomplishment. True, it may not feel like much, being able to go through the day without succumbing to the temptation to pick up a drink, shoot a line, go out and gamble, or whatever our past addiction was, but it really is a big deal.

It’s from the little day-to-day successes that we accumulate a treasure-trove of self-confidence, increase our self-esteem, and prove to ourselves that we are, indeed, a winner.

This doesn’t mean that we will have an easy road of it in recovery. As each of us knows, there’s both no guarantee that recovery will be successful or that it will be easy. In fact, it’s often quite difficult and may involve multiple relapses along the way. Keep in mind that attitude is critically important during times of stress, tension and unexpected issues or problems. It is attitude that may keep us going, even when all the signs may point to our not being able to withstand the pressures.

Without dwelling too much on the subject, suffice to say that there’s good reason to have an attitude. We need to instill in our mind that we believe in ourselves, first and foremost. We may not have all the answers – who among us ever does – but we know that we can do it, whatever it is, if we put our minds to it. That’s all recovery really is, continuing to do the work with the belief that it is all worthwhile.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other in recovery. Isn’t that what we often hear in the rooms? But sometimes that just doesn’t seem to cut it, does it? This may be especially true during the early days of our newfound sobriety, but it can also happen when we’re undergoing a particularly rough patch for which we feel completely unprepared.

Here are some thoughts to keep in mind whenever we find ourselves either doubting our ability to remain clean and sober or wonder if we’re up to the task at all. First, it’s important to note that we’re not alone in wondering about our capabilities in recovery. Every single person, man or woman, young or old, and from every walk of life, who has been in recovery has at one time or another, maybe even many times, wondered if they could take one more step. They worried that they didn’t have it in them, or that they’d make the wrong decision, or they were so caught up in what happened in the past that it virtually paralyzed them in the present, preventing them from doing the work they needed to do in recovery.

So, knowing we’re not alone is important. But how do we get past the nagging fears and get down to what’s needed: taking action?

Let’s look at what recovery is, for a moment. This is a lifestyle choice, a decision that we’ve made for whatever our own personal reasons, and we have embarked upon this sobriety journey with our eyes wide open. We knew at the outset that it wouldn’t be all smiles and easy days, that there’d likely be many times when we’d prefer to go back to our old ways of living when things seemed easier. Well, at times like that, we’d do well to remember how hard we worked to get where we are today. It certainly wasn’t easy. It definitely took a lot of hard work. But we knew in our hearts that it was the right thing to do. We made a decision to get clean and sober and challenged ourselves to walk the path of sobriety. We knew it was the best thing for us, and we know it still.

Yet we often harbor doubt. Again, it’s natural to feel a little uncertain at times, but that’s what our 12-step sponsor and fellow group members are for, to remind us why we’re here, why we chose to be sober, and why it’s still in our best interest to continue our work in recovery.

In other words, we have to acknowledge that we want to continue. We have to take the step that’s in front of us and keep on going, because this is the right direction for us to travel. Knowing that we are on the right path will tend to make the challenges we face a little easier to bear. Having the support and encouragement of our sponsor and other group members helps bolster our resolve.

In the fable of the tortoise and the hare, the hare became overconfident and stopped to rest by the side of the road. The tortoise, meanwhile, kept right on plodding along at his slow and measured pace. We know the end of the story. The tortoise made it to the ultimate goal while the hare came up short. While recovery isn’t a race, it is a journey. All we need to keep in mind is that we have to keep on taking the next step and the next step after that to stay on the path.

That’s not only progress, but it’s a record to be justifiably proud of.

We all know that decisions are very often tough to make. We vacillate between this way of thinking and that, not knowing which path to pursue is the right one, afraid to make a choice for fear that it will turn out wrong. When we are in recovery, especially early recovery, our inexperience in the ways of recovery tends to make us even more fearful of making a mistake. That and our natural inclination to believe that we cannot possibly do what’s right based on our track record of self-destructive behavior.

Guess what? It’s time to shove that self-defeating attitude aside and get on with the program of recovery. What does that mean? Quite simply, it means that we shouldn’t spend an inordinate amount of time worrying over what might happen or what we’re afraid might happen. Instead, we need to take action. As we’ve learned by going to our 12vStep meetings, recovery requires action. It isn’t about sitting around thinking and doing nothing. Sure, we do need to take some time to create goals for ourselves, the things that we want to achieve in the next 30 days, 60 days, six months, a year, 10 years and more down the road. And we also need to craft a plan of action in order to achieve those goals.

But once we’ve set down those goals, it’s time to get off the chair and spring into action.

Okay, so we know we need to make some decisions about our goals, but how can we get past the fear that we’ll make the wrong decisions? Here’s where our values come in. If we don’t have any values, it’s time to start figuring out some and adopting them as our own. If we’ve never given much thought to values, now’s a perfect time to begin. In fact, it’s always a good idea to give ourselves a little refresher course in what our values are today. They will change over time, as we become stronger in our recovery. We will begin to realize that we can be that person we admire, that person we’ve always wanted to be.

What is it that we truly believe in? Is it the power of love? Is it that family is the most important? Is it that we always try to do good, even when we don’t particularly feel like it? Do we prize self-respect and honesty, even though we’ve fallen far from our ideal in recent times? These are just thought-starters as every person will have his or her own values. Many of them are based on what we learned growing up and, truth to be told, some of these values are false and need to be changed.

We may have been raised in an abusive home where there was parental neglect and little affection, if any. Our thoughts of what family life should be like may be quite skewed and in need of some reconstruction. That’s what recovery is all about, creating a new life in sobriety that allows us to change our past behavior and adopt healthier patterns and a lifestyle that’s more conducive to lasting recovery.

Are we afraid that we don’t have good enough values? We shouldn’t be overly concerned about that. If we think we don’t have any values or are unsure if what we think is a value or not, talk it over with our 12vStep sponsor, our therapist, if we’re still in counseling, our spouse or loved ones that we feel comfortable discussing the topic with. We can also ask for help from our spiritual advisor, our priest or rabbi, or simply have a private conversation with our Higher Power or the God as we know Him.

There is absolutely no wrong answer here. If we make it a point to discover our values and learn to live by them, we will be able to make decisions based upon them. It only takes practice and a determination to see it through.

Whatever your view of Napoleon Bonaparte may be – if you ever gave it much thought – the fact is that the man was a military genius. Yes, he had his shortcomings, literally, since he was reportedly of small stature. He also was reported to have an inflated sense of self-worth, or, perhaps he was compensating for one or more other perceived deficiencies. Still, we can take some inspiration from his words about victory and winning that which we strive to achieve.

In short, we have to keep at it. We won’t achieve our goals and see the results of all our hard work if we give up in the middle of it or, worse yet, don’t even start. For some of us in recovery, particularly those in early recovery without much experience yet at crafting recovery goals and achieving them, it may seem a daunting task to even think about the future. If we do, we may push it out of our heads as some dark and mysterious place filled with black holes of uncertainty and difficult days. We may even give up before we get started.

Thank goodness for ongoing counseling, the support and encouragement of our loved ones and family members, and our 12 step sponsor and fellow group members. Without our staunch and ever-present support network, we would surely flail about and fail to do much to put in the hard work required for our sobriety.

What happens when we sit on the sidelines of life and do nothing? That’s fairly obvious, isn’t it? We accomplish nothing. We realize no achievements. We obtain no self-satisfaction from having put in the hard work and reaping the reward. We stagnate. We may even relapse and wind back in that dark place of addiction that we fought so hard to climb out of.

But add perseverance to the equation and the picture looks quite a bit different. Sure, we won’t succeed at everything we tackle. Some of our goals may take a little detour here and there as we figure out that they need to be altered to fit better with our newfound sobriety and new avenues that we may wish to pursue. One thing is also certain: If we tackle our recovery plan and one by one work on the goals that we have set aside for ourselves, we will make progress. It cannot be any other way.

Progress doesn’t mean that we’ll achieve certain goals in a straight line. Just as recovery isn’t a straight line path, making headway toward our goals invariably takes some twists and turns. And that isn’t a bad thing. It just takes some getting used to and adopting a different mindset toward goals, the pursuit of them, and the perseverance to keep at it.

Remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare? The hare leaped off on the race and, figuring that he had miles on the slow and plodding tortoise, sat beside the road and got lazy. But the tortoise kept at it, persevering despite the odds and the apparent easy win of the hare. Guess who made it to the finish line first? Yes, it was the tortoise, for his perseverance paid off in the end.

Not that recovery is a race with a finish line, but the point is certainly clear. We can’t give up on our goals, and we have to keep doing the hard work even if we think we deserve to slack off and take a break or we just don’t want to put in the effort. Our perseverance, just like that of the tortoise, will pay off in our unique and individual path of recovery.