Who is your go-to person?

If you aren’t sure, you might want to figure it out, because I believe stress and the challenges of life, the challenges of being ever so human (and an alcoholic) make it critical to have someone you can totally trust to get your s*#($. They won’t look at you as if you had two heads – they will be understanding, but firm. They won’t enable, but they won’t make you feel like a big dumb idiot.

Your go-to person should be someone who knows when to listen and be compassionate and when to say, “What? Wait a minute – let’s get some perspective here.” They know when to be kind and supportive, and when to be blunt (without being all judgmental and superior about it). They know how to get you to think it through yourself, by asking questions – a sort of thoughtful interrogation – and they never make you feel like something on the bottom of their shoe.

If you don’t feel like you have a go-to person, make that a goal for your life. It’s one of those things that will help you through all sorts of life lessons.

Sometimes you have no choice but to interact with people who were part of your life when you were drinking or drugging. That’s why it is so important to create a network of support among sober people (or friends and family who are very supportive of your recovery – especially ones who go to Al-Anon or other support groups).  These are the people who will balance out any negative influences. You know you have a safe group of people to go to when you are struggling or feeling down.  Don’t underestimate the importance of sober, healthy friends.