It’s pretty human to use significant days as “turning points” – and that is all well and good for some people.  For others, however, using these days for a supposed total change in lifestyle can be problematic.  I think this can be particularly true for people in recovery. Why? Because many of us have absurd expectations. Combine that with an all-or-nothing kind of personality, and you have a recipe for repeated failure. 

I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating a goal that you start to work on at a certain date, but frankly, I think the best day to pick is today and only today.  Today I will…

This helps me avoid the deal making and the  post-poning.  If I decide in early December that I’m going to “start a diet” on New Year’s Day, that means I’ll eat ridiculously badly until that day.  Why not say, I’m going to eat healthy today?  That doesn’t mean I’ll be perfect every day until New Year’s Day – but it sure means I likely won’t be as cavalier until the phony deadline.

The problem with creating resolutions based on a specific day, be it New Year’s or a birthday or anniversary, is that it takes you out of the immediacy of the day, and as people in recovery it is so important to count today first and remember everything else comes later.

This just means that if there’s something I want to do or change about my life, I start today – maybe just a little step like adding five minutes to my walk or not skipping breakfast.

Rather than look to make a long (usually intimidating) list for New Year’s, what can you do today to move toward the goals you want to achieve?

I like to think of this as stasis vs. progress.  Now change isn’t always progress – sometimes I make less-than-desirable decisions. However, when I’m stuck, motionless, doing the same thing over and over, I start to get this udgy feeling (made up word – kind of a combination of ugh and yucky).  There’s no way to describe it really, other than to say I feel stuck.  And as the “healthy” me recognizes it a bit of anxiety starts to build. And that anxiety continues to build unless I do something about it: CHANGE.

Face it. Change is not fun. I frankly think humans are truly creatures of habit and we get into that rut, that nice smooth line in the road where our tires have always been, and when you shift to the left or the right a bit, the ride just seems too rough to be worth it. We let our tires slip right back into that nice smooth rut. Of course, it is often well worth it.

I remember someone telling me a few years back some nonsense (read: smart but it annoyed me) about luck being when opportunity and preparedness are there at the same time. Apparently, the Chinese symbol for luck includes the symbols for opportunity and preparedness (don’t quote me on this, just heard it, and it sounded nifty).

There have been innumerable times in the past where opportunities presented themselves, but I wasn’t prepared.  Financially I was often not prepared.  I tended to be underpaid and overworked. And I tended to be a little irresponsible (a lot even at times) with the credit cards.

I can remember the day I thought: this is never going to change unless I change. I had to change my attitude toward work, money, and spending. I created a plan. It made me want to cry. It was going to be HARD.

Now 10 years later I am in a completely different place.  My plan worked and it not only solved the issue of preparedness when it comes to finances, it essentially changed my attitude toward “things” and “money” and all those touchy financial subjects.

It also taught me that when I start to feel anxious I better darn well look at why. If I can’t figure out why, I better talk to some people about it and work it out.  Because the anxiety doesn’t just go away. It expects change.