Do You Know Your Relapse Warning Signs

When I was in rehab back in the 80s, I remember very well the therapists words of warning:  if you notice you are not taking care of your appearance, not caring about how you dress etc. see that as a warning sign for you.  They noticed during those 30 days that when I was struggling, I didn’t care how I looked.  Therefore, I learned early on to watch out for this relapse warning sign.

Everyone has their own set of relapse warning signs. These are behaviors or attitudes that can start to reappear during recovery and can undermine your continued success at abstinence.  If you don’t know your warning signs, you are at a disadvantage. Think of these signs as an early warning system, like those sensors in the ocean that warn us about tsunamis so everyone has time to evacuate.  Back when that horrific tsunami hit Thailand and other countries in the area they didn’t have an early warning system for tsunamis triggered by earthquakes – over 200,000 people died because of it.

How can you figure out what your warning signs are?  First place to look is at your life when you were drinking.  What were your typical habits?  How did those change as you progressed in recovery?  You are essentially looking at how your behaviors and attitudes improved, then you backtrack to the place when they were making your life a misery.  Those behaviors and attitudes are probably a pretty good place to start building your early warning system.

Maybe when you were drinking you tended to be cruel toward your spouse.  In sobriety you started to be more patient and kinder.  Your spouse noticed.  Things got better.  If over time this new behavior starts to change – erode, so to speak – that could be a warning you’re going back to the place where alcohol was your fix.

Maybe when you were out there using you were very dishonest, even about the smallest things.  Over time you became more honest and open.  But now you notice you are slipping back into patterns of deception.  You tell “little white lies” to avoid uncomfortable situations or confrontations.  That could be an early warning sign for you.

Why is it that these old behaviors and attitudes often precede the first drink or drug?  Because those behaviors are generally not comfortable.  We naturally feel a little guilty when we deceive those we love.  We feel bad about being needlessly cruel or critical, hurting our loved ones.  The problem is, we don’t like being uncomfortable.  If we put ourselves in a situation where we are very uncomfortable much of the time, it could be that we turn back to our old solution:  drinking or taking drugs.

Develop your early warning system when you are healthy and strong in your recovery. Don’t wait until problems start to crop up – because we tend to lie to ourselves a little better and a little more often when we are off track in recovery, and that list might not be so accurate if we are in denial.