Respecting Differences

One of the most frustrating things in meetings is when someone declares an absolute: you MUST do it this way. I fear this infects some groups, and while the regulars might be quite happy with the absolutes, it could have a very negative impact on newcomers.

I remember being at a particular meeting in New York City in the late 1980s where someone with a little time told a newcomer she could not take her medication for bipolar disorder (I believe it was lithium). I was shocked and horrified that someone in the rooms was practicing medicine without a license.  What if the person just stopped taking a medication critical to their mental well-being and killed themselves a few weeks later?  Would that self-appointed “expert” take responsibility? Unlikely. Because people who do this type of thing tend to be so foolishly arrogant that they would find a way to put the blame elsewhere.

Granted, there are people taking medications who have no business taking them, and certain medications are clearly just being taken for a high, but there are ways to help people without playing doctor.

I think today more and more people understand there is such a thing as clinical depression – although I still hear cases of people saying, “Oh, she’s just lazy,” when they describe a clearly depressed person who is at high risk for self-harm.

But if there is one absolute in the rooms it’s this: you must respect others’ differences or they might not come back, and you can’t help a newcomer who doesn’t show up again.