Happy 23rd!

I missed posting on my anniversary/birthday of 23 years. I have been moving and it has been a huge job!  Moving can be exhilirating and frustrating, it can be a happy event but is also tinged with sadness. I’ve always had to have at least one good cry when moving. I think part of it is shedding the past – it’s a mourning process of sorts. It’s a way to let go of the garbage that still drags me into negative thinking. It’s a way to get a clean slate once again and renew my commitment to a healthy, positive life.

Twenty three years ago I didn’t think I could live even one day without alcohol. One day at  a time I was able to go a day without alcohol over 8400 days. Not alone, mind you, but I did commit myself to the steps needed to achieve this daily goal. Apparently the steps work! (Big Grin).

If you are in early sobriety and feel like maybe it’s not worth it – let me assure you IT IS WELL WORTH IT.

I remember my first year – I was depressed, anxious, lonely…even with new friends, lots of meetings. My mind, body, and soul were a step behind.  I remember the day – almost exactly at one year – that I had that epiphany.

Two friends I started out with had planned a 1-year anniversary trip. They excluded me “because you are too negative.” I was devastated. Those two friends drank that weekend. Maybe that’s why they wanted to exclude me- I’m not sure.  But I didn’t drink that weekend and I am forever grateful for whatever in the universe protected me from that path.

The epiphany came as I was walking in NYC (where I lived in my first five years) and I suddenly realized I was hanging on to those negative feelings – and that I could choose to find the positive. A sudden wave of overwhelming joy washed over me. It was an indescribable feeling, and one I have not felt at quite the same intensity since – but it was enough to wake me up to a truly positive path in recovery.

Congratulations to everyone out there who stayed sober today. Today is the day. It’s the only day. Make good choices today and you can move forward to the next today sober and sane.