Taking Stock without Taking Names

One of the easiest old behaviors to fall back into is blaming people for your problems. It’s so important to always come back to the core of every issue: what part did I play in this?  What can I do to change it? If I can’t change it, what can I do to help myself accept it?

When you take stock – just another way of saying taking inventory – you are essentially doing an assessment of your sobriety. You are not only asking the critical question: am I heading toward a drink?  You are also asking yourself: Would a healthy person in recovery act this way?  No one likes a dry drunk – all the bad behaviors just without the liquor poured over it.

Taking stock does not mean you can never recognize someone else’s culpability – clearly there are times when someone else is creating chaos and most people have encountered at least one person who seemed to be a natural saboteur.  However, when you recognize this it’s still a good idea to look at your part – did you do anything that got you tied into a person like this?  Do you find yourself attracting people who are train wrecks?  Do you stick with someone or a job or any situation long after it’s clear that it’s not good for you just because you’re afraid of change?

As long as the focus stays on ourselves we can find solutions.  When the focus is on the other person, there really is no solution because, well, we all know how well trying to change other people works.