People Just Do Things

I remember a sponsor once said to me what I’ve now come to know is a famous quote, “People don’t do things to people. People just do things.”  At first I didn’t really get it – sure people do things to people. People hit other people. People even kill other people!  But then it quickly dawned on me. She was talking about the quotidian things that happen minute by minute and day by day that as an alcoholic, I tend to take personally.

It reminds me of another somewhat well-known story of a man who would buy his paper every day from a very surly vendor. He would smile and greet the vendor in a pleasant way, but the vendor always scowled and grumbled. A friend witnessed this a few times, and finally asked, “Why are you so nice to that man when he is so rude to you?” And the man replied, “I’m not going to let other people control my behavior.”

An extraordinary lesson comes in that little anecdote.