If you are going away this summer, it’s important to keep in mind what support you might need when out of town. For some people, being away from their normal routine can be a trigger of sorts. If you are going to a place where people will be drinking, especially touristy destinations like beach towns, you don’t want to be caught off guard and tempted to join in.

Here are some steps you can take to prepare for a summer trip.

1. Location, Location, Location.

If you’ve already planned your destination for summer vacation, this one may be too late to consider. However, it’s important to think about where you are going, and if it’s the right place for you at your particular stage of recovery. People in early recovery might not want to go on a cruise, for example, where drinking and eating are the main activities on the boat. There’s nothing worse than being trapped at a resort or on a boat where everyone else seems to be intoxicated. Choose wisely when deciding on where you want to spend your summer vacation.  I heard a story about a woman just out of treatment for bulimia whose family decided a cruise was a good idea – yikes! Food is everywhere on cruises, and overindulgence tends to be the norm. She was at high risk for relapse, and indeed she did.

2. Get Your Ducks in a Row

Call ahead to the Central Office of the 12-step group you attend so you can have a list of meetings on hand. You don’t want to be in a panicky situation trying to find a meeting last minute.  Map them out if you can so you know exactly where to go, or be sure you have a GPS device or smart phone that will make it easy to find the closest meeting.

3. Have a Back-Up Plan

If you have a hard time getting to meetings because of the location or if you are on a tour that limits your freedom, have your phone numbers handy. If you will be overseas, be sure to find out what the data and phone plans are for International calling. You might want to set up a plan in advance so you aren’t surprised by a shockingly huge bill a month after returning home.

4. Bring Your Tools

If you have certain things that help you on a daily basis – meditations, Big Book readings or the like – bring them with you. If you don’t want to carry a bunch of materials around, copy some of the content and carry those critical pages with you. If you are carrying a laptop, iPad, or smart phone with you, you can also scan in some good materials and email them to yourself so they are available electronically. If you have a Kindle or other reader, you may be able to download materials or save them to that device as well.

5. Know Your Limits and Have an Exit Strategy

If you are honest with yourself, you will know your limits – what you can and can’t do if you want to stay sober. Do an honest appraisal of your triggers and risk factors, and avoid any events or places that might tempt you and lead to relapse. The best defense is a good offense, and the last thing you want to do is be caught off-guard.  If you need to get out of whatever situation you are in, be ready to do it – your sobriety and your life are more important than another day away. If you get in situations -say you meet new people who pressure you to have “just one,” be ready to say what you need to say to get them to back off. Or simply leave the situation. I remember once someone was haranguing me to have a glass of wine – oh, one isn’t going to hurt you! That’s ridiculous. I finally looked right at her and said, “I’m not drinking it because I’m an alcoholic.” She was so shocked she backed off and never brought it up again.

Vacations in sobriety can be amazing – you get to remember everything you did! Just be sure to plan ahead so you can have fun without risking your sobriety.

Are you in recovery for addiction and looking for some tips on how to make it go more smoothly? While there’s no sure-fire method that’s guaranteed to be successful for everyone, there are some proven methods and strategies that you can use – or adapt – to your own recovery journey. These 10 secrets to effective recovery can be used as you see fit, alone or in combination. After all, recovery is a personal journey. Do what works best for you.

Take Small Steps

Many individuals who first enter recovery mistakenly view it as a lifetime of self-deprivation, joylessness, endless restrictions on freedom and choices, and a monotonous tedium. Relax. That’s a normal first reaction to trying to put into practice all the skills you learned during treatment and taking your first steps toward dealing with life’s daily stresses and challenges, warding off cravings and urges, recognizing and avoiding triggers. Besides, you’ve just left a structured environment where every minute was choreographed for you. It’s natural that you’d feel a bit overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, and want to retreat into solitude for a time. The good news is that this period of uncertainty can pass more quickly if you acknowledge that it is occurring, and then get on about the business of your new life of sobriety.

In this regard, it’s often helpful for those in early recovery to take small steps forward. That means – at least in the initial days and weeks – that you concentrate only on the essential elements of your recovery plan. For now, you’re not focusing on all the things you need to do one, two, or 10 years down the line. You’re just living in the here and now, practicing the things you learned during treatment, going to 12-step meetings, meeting with your therapist (if you still have such counseling as a part of aftercare), re-establishing communication with your family members, and taking good physical, mental, and emotional care of yourself.

Taking small steps is easier if you make out a daily schedule. For those who dislike lists, this may be a bit of a hurdle, but it actually becomes much easier over time. For one thing, making a list of things to do is just smart. It works in business and, in fact, is highly recommended by time management professionals. It works for homemakers juggling multiple family responsibilities. It also works for those in recovery – and, perhaps, is one of the simplest and most basic things you can do to help during the first months of recovery.

What should you put in your daily schedule? You can block out chunks of time, allocate by the hour or half-hour, as needed. Incorporate the time you get up and get ready for the day, responsibilities before work, including preparing and eating breakfast, helping children get off to school, things you need to do at work, such as meetings or projects to attend to, going to and/or eating lunch, things to do after work, preparation of the evening meal and dining with the family, chores and tasks after dinner, family discussion time, games, sports, and entertainment. Also include time to go to 12-step meetings, therapists, trips to the doctor, grocery store, pharmacy, cleaners, exercise or leisure pursuits, and so on. This is only a partial list. You’ll certainly have your own unique items to add.

The key is to give yourself the freedom to take it slow. Don’t rush into things, trying to make up for lost time. There’ll be plenty of opportunity for tackling more assignments and getting out there after you have a few months of recovery.

Celebrate Accomplishments

It’s also very important that you celebrate accomplishments along the way. For those attending 12-step group meetings, there are group celebrations and recognition of members who achieve their 30-, 60-, and 90-day sobriety milestones. There’s also a big celebration/recognition of the one-year anniversary of living clean and sober.

But there are many other things that you can and should celebrate in your first few months of recovery. First of all, it’s a really big event that you’ve returned home from treatment and are about to resume your life with your family. While this can seem overwhelming and a bit disorienting, it’s a huge step that deserves a celebration.

Your family may want to prepare a welcome-home dinner, for example, but it’s advisable to keep it to immediate family members. After all, you don’t need to be inundated by a crowd of friends and well-wishers at this early stage. Although they mean well, they may say or do something inadvertently that can throw you off – such as bring alcohol or drink in your presence. It’s also just too much for you to process so soon after treatment.

Other accomplishments to celebrate include the achievement of one week of sobriety, two weeks, three weeks, and so on. When you have bouts of cravings and urges, and utilize the coping skills you learned during treatment and are able to get through the 20 minutes or so that these typically last without succumbing to them, celebrate that achievement. And, make no mistake about it – this is a significant achievement. In fact, the more you practice the things you learned, the better you get at it.

Making Celebrations Safe

How can you celebrate? Doesn’t celebration bring to mind drinking and other dangerous behaviors? If your family members attended family therapy and were actively involved in group meetings during your treatment, they already know how important it is that they support you in recovery. That means learning how to avoid situations that may increase stress, result in triggers, or prompt a relapse. This also includes finding substitutions for alcohol during any family gatherings.

One way to ensure that celebrations are safe is to make sure that there is no alcohol of any kind on the premises – before you return home. If this hasn’t been done, it’s best if you leave the home while your family members gather up all the booze and get it out of the house and off the property. You simply can’t have alcohol around – especially if you are in recovery for a problem with or addiction to alcohol.

If your addiction was to illicit or prescription drugs, or other addictive substances or behaviors, you still can’t have alcohol around. Many recovering addicts have gone through treatment for one type of addiction – say, cocaine or marijuana – and substituted alcohol upon their return home. Many recovering gambling addicts are also addicted to booze and drugs. Better to abide by the recommendations of your counselors and have the house clean of all addictive substances – including alcohol.
You may need to have a discussion with your family members about the importance of maintaining a “clean” house. Some people think that, after a few months, they can return to having alcohol in the house, or smoke a joint in your presence without it causing a problem. You need to inform them in a firm but gentle way that this cannot happen. Enlist their support in helping you in your recovery.

Non-alcoholic beverages are easy enough to include in family celebrations of your milestones. Once you have your family’s understanding and support, celebrating at home should be safe and problem-free.

How to Deal With Nightmares, Cravings, and Anxiety

Let’s face it. Recovery can be tough. Some of the worst times are at night. Instead of sleeping peacefully and getting the rest you need, you may be plagued by nightmares, awakened with powerful cravings, or suffer with bouts of anxiety. Each of these is disturbing enough, but what if you have them night after night? What can you do?

First, discuss the situation with your doctor or therapist. You may be prescribed a medication to help counter anxiety or depression. You may need additional counseling to help you uncover what’s causing the nightmares, or learn a few more strategies to dealing with cravings and urges that rouse you from your sleep. If you are prescribed medication, take it only as directed by your doctor. Report any side effects immediately so that the medication can be changed, dosage altered, or eliminated, as required.

Insomnia is a frequent occurrence for some in early recovery. It often depends on the type of addiction the individual had, or combination of addictions. Some drug and alcohol addictions leave the person more prone to insomnia than others. After speaking with your doctor and therapist about your inability to sleep, it’s important that you acknowledge that you still have some things to deal with that perhaps you have still buried in your subconscious or don’t want to recognize. These are things you will need to work on in continuing therapy. If you don’t, they’ll just keep resurfacing and cause you more problems in your recovery journey.

It’s been mentioned that cravings and urges typically last about 20 minutes or so. Getting past this barrier involves using several different techniques at different times, depending on how well they work for you.

• Distraction – One popular technique involves distracting yourself with an activity. Get busy doing something that involves concentration, such as working a crossword puzzle. When your mind is on searching for the appropriate word, you are distracted. You aren’t thinking about the urge or craving. Before long, 20 minutes will have passed and the craving will be gone.

• Repetition – Some in recovery find it helpful to organize things, to engage in counting or reciting the alphabet backward and forward. Anything that’s repetitious – even mowing the lawn in a rectangle, diagonal, or other repetitive patterns – will suffice. This again involves some concentration, thinking about what you’re doing, striving to adhere to the pattern. Again, time will pass and the craving/urge will dissipate without much trouble.

• Physical Exercise – Get your body’s natural endorphins in gear by engaging in vigorous physical exercise. Do sit-ups, push-ups, run in place, get on the exercise bike, or take a brisk walk in the neighborhood. Since some of your cravings and urges may occur in the middle of the night, you may be wise to limit your physical exercise to inside the home. But cravings and urges happen anytime of the day or night. And physical exercise is an excellent way to banish them – and benefit your physical well-being in the process.

• Talk with a Friend – Sometimes all you need to do to get over the craving is to talk with a friend. Hopefully, this is a close friend, family member, or 12-step group member who understands what you’re going through. If none of these is available, call your 12-step sponsor. He or she has committed to being there for you when you need support, and while you’re having cravings and urges certainly qualifies. By the time you’ve talked for a little while, the cravings and urges will have disappeared – or you’ll be better equipped to deal with them.

• Ride it Out – Recognize that cravings and urges are bound to occur. But that doesn’t mean that they’re a sign of weakness or lack of willpower. It isn’t your fault that they occur, and you can’t stop them from happening. What you can do is realize that they only last a brief amount of time, and you will be able to ride them out. Just knowing that they aren’t a permanent fixture in your existence and that you will get better at dealing with them should be enough to give you comfort. Beyond that, talk with your therapist and 12-step group members about how else you may be able to combat cravings and urges.

Establish Goals and Refine Your Plan

Once you have a few weeks of recovery, it’s time to get out your recovery plan – the outline you put together in the final phase of your active treatment program. If you didn’t attend a formal treatment program, now is the time to put together a recovery plan. What does a recovery plan consist of? It’s basically a roadmap, if you will, or a plan for how you want your future to unfold.
Included in your recovery plan are the short-term things you want or feel you need to accomplish. This may be getting a job, searching for a new job, getting back into your existing job, working toward achieving a promotion, obtaining financing for school, restructuring your debt, paying off medical bills, and so on. Your recovery plan should also include long-term goals: buying a house, getting a degree, having children, becoming financially stable, having a stable personal relationship, and so on.

Needless to say, both short- and long-term goals involve interim steps, or stages, that you need to successfully complete before you can move on. As you think of them, put them into your recovery plan. Think of this as a breathing, changing document. Nothing is set in stone. As you progress in your recovery, you will find that your interests, as well as your wants and needs, will change. So, too, will the number and variety of opportunities and challenges that come your way. Nothing is static. Everything changes.

The secret to a successful recovery plan is your ability to remain flexible, to recognize and incorporate new opportunities as they become available, and having the discipline to use your recovery plan as a helpful guide to your future in recovery.

Become Resilient

Think of the damage hurricane winds do to trees. Buffeted relentlessly, many established trees are uprooted or break, unable to withstand the force. In contrast, more flexible saplings may be able to bend and bounce back. They are more resilient than their rigid counterparts, the elder trees. Using this analogy – and not that you are an elder, inflexible tree – your recovery can be more effective if you learn to become more resilient.

Instead of caving under pressure or mounting stress, learn how to let such things bounce off you. Recognize that every day brings challenges. Some of these are easily overcome, while others may tend to weigh you down for a time. Don’t promise more than you can reasonably deliver, especially in early recovery. Accepting too many assignments or asking for more work to make up for lost time may only result in you becoming frustrated or depressed when you can’t meet the deadline or need more help.
Being resilient also means you don’t allow things other people say to hurt you or deter you from your recovery goals. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but what others say and do is not your responsibility. You do not need to absorb their words and allow negative emotion to well up in you.

Live in Integrity

Of course, you do have to be responsible for your own actions and words. In this regard, what you do and say has a lot to do with how resilient you are. Think before you act or say something. Envision the possible outcome. Will what you are about to do or say result in something beneficial or harmful? Make your decision accordingly. Your actions and words have meaning. Make them honest, thoughtful, kind, and from the heart. This is living in integrity.

Find Joy in Every Day

You’ve been given a gift. You have a second chance (or third or beyond, as the case may be) to live. Look at each day as an opportunity to learn and build and grow in recovery. There’s beauty and love all around you, if you choose to see it. Find the joy in every day. Be thankful for all the goodness in your life, in what you have been able to change about yourself, in the things you are doing now and plan to do in the future to bring about serenity, peace, and love to you and your loved ones.

Discover the Value of Hope

When you were in your darkest hour of addiction, you may have lost all hope. It was probably difficult to get through a single day, let alone have any plans for the future. All of that is in the past. Today, you have your entire life ahead of you. Looking forward to the kinds of goals you want to accomplish entails having vision – and hope. If hope is a word that’s foreign to you, now’s the time to discover it. Make hope part of your life. One way to do this is to look forward to something in the near future. Make your plans as to how you will get ready for that day or event or activity. Every day that passes, keep track of your progress toward that goal. With each step forward, you will have a little more excitement, a little more anticipation. This is how you discover the value of hope.

Accept Love

In recovery, it’s more than just paying attention to goals, learning and practicing coping skills, restructuring your life, making plans, finding the joy in life and having hope. You also need love. That may be extremely difficult for those in recovery who feel that their past addictive behavior makes them unworthy of love. This simply will not do. Get over it. You are not defined by your addiction. Who you are now and who you choose to be from this day forward is all that counts. Granted you will have some amends to make, but that does not mean that you cannot have and give love.

You need to learn that you are loveable, and that you can love in return. For some, this will mean the love of family. Others will find platonic love. Many will give and receive love of the more intimate kind with a prospective or existing partner or spouse. To give or receive love means that you have to learn how to love yourself first. Once you love you, then you will be able to give from your heart and love others. It’s as simple and basic as that.

Love in recovery is a powerful boost to being able to live a life of sobriety. In fact, love is one of the best-kept secrets to an effective recovery. In the end, love – while it may not be all we need – is certainly one of the most satisfying elements in recovery.

Book Review by Suzanne K of "Leave the Light On: A Memoir of Recovery and Self-Discovery" by Jennifer Storm.

This is the second memoir by Jennifer Storm. Her first, Blackout Girl: Growing Up and Drying Out in America, depicted her haunting descent into addiction which occurred after she had been raped at age twelve. In Leave the Light On: A Memoir of Recovery and Self-Discovery, Storm picks up where the first book left off. Even without reading her first memoir, readers will be captivated by Storm’s account of life in recovery.

Anyone who’s been through treatment for addiction knows that recovery is a scary time. You worry about it when you’re nearing the end of your treatment, and you worry constantly about it during the early days of your recovery. This happens regardless of what your drug or addictive behavior of choice is, how long you’ve been addicted before you seek and go through treatment, whether you’ve relapsed once or several times since treatment, who you are, where you live, how much money you have, how old you are, your sex, religious, political or any other type of affiliation. In short, recovery takes some getting used to.
And there’s no better primer than reading Storm’s tale of making it through the period of early recovery – without losing her sanity.

This is not to say that there weren’t some tenuous moments. Whose recovery is smooth sailing, anyway? Not anyone that this writer has heard about. Truth to tell, however, Storm’s account doesn’t veer into details about protracted and numerous relapses. She does say that she did relapse at one point, but got back into treatment and subsequently was Keaable to maintain her sobriety.

The fact that Storm survived her addiction and suicide attempt (she cut her wrists) is a testament to her underlying courage and determination to live. The memories of the rape, the guilt and shame and self-hatred that plagued her for years and she buried with alcohol and drugs took a lot of therapy and many hours of 12-step meeting attendance and one-on-one discussions with her sponsor to overcome.

You often read in articles and advice about recovery that you should follow a regimented schedule in your first weeks and months after treatment. With no more 24-hour monitoring or every minute accounted for with therapy, meetings, or scheduled lectures or activities, the sudden freedom of recovery can throw anyone into a tailspin. Storm tells readers she very much needed the comfort of stability, and keeping to a regular daily schedule helped her begin to climb up from the depths of self-doubt and despair. Reciting the Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer also kept her from losing her grip.

Newcomers to recovery will find helpful tips scattered throughout the book. For example, Storm says that it’s a good practice to mix up your 12-step meetings. Why should you do this? For one thing, it helps to keep things fresh. You won’t be hearing the same people tell the same stories over and over again. By attending different meetings, you’ll also be exposed to more people in recovery. Since it’s tough to meet new people when you’re still feeling raw and vulnerable, this is an excellent and non-threatening way to get to know new people who are clean and sober.

Another tip is to be cognizant of the so-called 12-step rules. Every fellowship has a few of them, whether they’re called rules or just recommendations. Did you know that you shouldn’t make any major life changes in your first year of recovery? This includes getting married or divorced, selling your house (unless you have to for financial reasons), and so on. You shouldn’t date in the first year – so, no love interests (especially for women who have been traumatized). You also can’t share your story until you’ve got a full year of recovery under your belt. And you can’t lead a meeting or sponsor anyone until you reach your first year recovery milestone.

Attending 90 meetings in 90 days (the “90 in 90” rule) is also strongly recommended for newcomers. The first 90 days are the most critical for newly sober individuals. This is a time when internal self-worth issues are most common. Storm found her salvation in keeping herself busy and involved in the 12-step program. She relates that in early recovery it’s easy to get sucked back into negative thoughts or wallow in self-pity of depression that follows such a major life change (going through addiction treatment and starting recovery).

Early recovery is also a time when panic attacks frequently occur. They usually come and go quickly, but can be devastating nonetheless. Storm recounts she committed to her Higher Power and just rode it out whenever panic overwhelmed her.
Desires and cravings, as every addict who’s gone through treatment knows, are two different things. They’re both tough to deal with, no matter when they occur. When old triggers resurface, Storm advises those new to recovery to recite the Serenity Prayer over and over. In addition, take deep and cleansing breaths while you say the words. You also need to avoid old people, places, and things that caused you to use in the past. And you simply must remain vigilant about your disease. You have to put your needs and your recovery above everything and everyone else.

In an easy-to-read style, Storm takes the reader through her early days in recovery. As she recounts her struggles to move into her own place, overcoming her conflicting thoughts of her own sexuality, dealing with old and new friendships, her up-and-down relationships with her parents and siblings, going on to college, starting a career, and, ultimately embarking on intimate relationships, readers cannot help but find insights into their own lives.

This memoir is not a manual or workbook for how everyone should manage their recovery. Each person is unique and must take his or her own path. But the book is a page turner, and Storm’s fresh and sassy style is completely engaging.

As for Storm, we’ll probably hear more from her in the future. As Executive Director of the Victim Witness Assistance Program in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, she has put her passion into helping others. She remains clean and sober – and happy at last.

It’s a terrible thing to feel like your life has no meaning and that every day is an exercise in futility. That, unfortunately, is the experience of many addicts in recovery – but it doesn’t have to be this way. Sure, it’s easy for someone sitting on the outside to offer advice and recommendations, you say, but it’s another to walk in your shoes and try to wade through the myriad challenges and obstacles that seem to crop up post-treatment. How are you supposed to make sense of it all – when it’s difficult enough just to get through the day? Here are some suggestions to help you find meaning when life seems hopeless in recovery.

Will they work for everyone? No, they probably won’t, but they’re certainly a good place to start. The key is to experiment with different techniques and strategies. See what works for you and, if it does, elaborate on it and make it truly a good fit to your situation. If it doesn’t appear to be working, maybe give it a little longer before you discard it outright. The truth is that you’ll be more likely to see improvement if you work on a coordinated approach. In other words, utilize several techniques concurrently.

Work On Getting Outside Yourself

How can you get outside of yourself? That’s a good question, but what we’re referring to here is not an out-of-body experience like you may be familiar with from your substance-abusing days or time spent engaged in your past addictive behavior (gambling, polysubstance abuse, overwork, overeating, etc.). By getting outside yourself we mean that you ditch sitting around and feeling sorry for your life as it is and do something to get out of the house or environment (literally).

Change of scenery and circumstances can work wonders in the short term. Just having a different world view (outside in nature, in a hushed movie theater, going on a long drive) engages your attention, distracts you from your worries, fears, and emotional turmoil and offers your mind a respite from stress.

What you actually do to get outside yourself doesn’t matter – as long as it doesn’t involve harmful substances or addictive behavior and doesn’t prove to be harmful to other people, places or things. The length of time you engage in the activity is also not time-dependent. Do it as long as you can, and as long as you feel you are gaining a benefit from it. For some in recovery, this may be as short as a 20- to 30-minute hike or walk in the neighborhood or nearby park, or going to a comedy at the Cineplex with a close friend for a couple of hours, or just reading a novel at the bookstore or library on a regular basis.

By switching your routine, varying it, going to new places, you’ll be opening yourself up to the opportunity to meet new people – who may become friends, or at least, good acquaintances – discover that you have a new interest, or decide to pursue another life goal (job change, travel, getting or finishing a degree).

The more you expose yourself to new situations, the richer your life will be. It will not happen overnight, to be sure, but it will happen. Again, give this technique time to work.

Let Yourself Laugh

“Laughter is the best medicine,” a popular feature in the old Reader’s Digest (who knows, it may still be), worked on the principle that if you laugh, you can’t remain down in the dumps. Doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health and addiction treatment professionals all agree that laughter works wonders to help lift patients’ moods, curtail stress and minimize symptoms. No, laughter won’t take away all your ills, completely dispel sleepless nights, or make you rich and famous, for that matter. What it will do is make you feel better – and that’s enough to help you find some meaning in your life.

Oddly enough, and, coincidentally so, it seems, when you’ve gone through the rigors of treatment and are in recovery, it’s tough to find anything remotely funny. Look at everything you’ve endured. The fact that you made it on the other side of treatment is a strong testament to your commitment to being clean and sober and to learning to live a healthier lifestyle. For this, you deserve congratulations. So, go ahead – give yourself a pat on the back. As to how you can start to find a reason to laugh, or jumpstart your funny bone, here are a few ideas:

• Go to a comedy. – Yes, pick out several comedies that are playing at nearby theaters. Read the logline (the one-sentence summary of the plot) and see if it’s something that you could sit through for a couple of hours. If you like the stars, that’s even better. Don’t be worried that the logline doesn’t tell you too much. You can also watch trailers for currently-playing movies on the Internet, read movie reviews in newspapers, magazines, and online, or ask friends for recommendations of movies they found funny. While you’re at it, ask a friend to go with you (even if they’ve already seen it). When you’re watching the comedy, you don’t need to feel compelled to guffaw or belly-laugh – although those are terrific responses, if they come naturally and the movie warrants it. Even the briefest of smiles touching your lips is a good start to finding amusement in everyday occurrences. Of course, the more slapstick the comedy, appealing to the broadest audiences (mostly young males), the more likely some humor will provoke laughter in the audience as a whole. This can be a good thing, since it may prompt you to laugh as well. But subtle humor is equally beneficial. So, go for a few comedies and make it a regular outing.

• Read joke books or a comedic novel. – Buy a book of jokes or a funny novel, or read them for free at your local library or nearby bookstore. This is an easy and inexpensive way to let your mind stop worrying and concentrate on the words on the page in front of you. Something you read will make you smile. After a short period of time reading, your mood is bound to lift. You can also look up at your surroundings and take in the other people in your vicinity. Observe what they are doing, how intent they are on reading or enjoying their books or magazines or audiotapes. This gives you a sense of community – of being with others without being pressured to perform or meet any expectations. If you regularly go to a particular bookstore or library, you may begin to see the same people there, some of whom may become friends or acquaintances. You have something in common. This is also good.\

• Take in a comedy show. – Every city and town has its version of the Laugh Factory, Comedy Club or something similar. There are also cable channels devoted to comedy. Make it a point to go to see a comedy show, stand-up routines, or watch them on cable TV. These entertainers are practicing their craft, honing their technique designed to elicit maximum laughs from the audience. One of these days, you’ll hear something that makes you laugh as well – the more, the better.

• Try to find something funny in every day. – This suggestion isn’t as bizarre as you might think. Once you start looking for things that are funny, or amusing, you’ll start to see them everywhere. It could be the double-take a young man gives a really attractive woman he passes on the street (admiring, but not ogling), or the cute interaction that your nieces and nephews or your small children have with each other and their friends, or something you hear on the radio, TV, in the next cubicle at work. Look for ways to smile. They will become easier to spot. And, the more you do it, the better you will feel.

Call on Your Support System

Sometimes you’ll feel down and no amount of strategies and techniques will make a dent in your depression. When this happens – and it might – call on your support system right away. This could be your spouse or family members, close friends, or your 12-step sponsor or fellow group members. These are the people who know who you are and what you’ve been going through and have promised – and demonstrated – that they’ll be there for you whenever you need them. Usually, it only takes conversation to get you out of the depths of your depression or your gloomy mood.

However, in the event that you are sinking rapidly into despair, if you begin to feel suicidal thoughts or think you might act on them, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-TALK) immediately. Trained counselors are available at the confidential hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. They can talk with you and/or refer you to crisis centers nationwide. They will not leave you to your own devices. They will provide an understanding ear and assist you in any way they can. And the service is free – it doesn’t cost you a dime.

But, that’s the extreme and it’s only mentioned as a resource in case you need it.

Every addict in recovery is only as strong as his or her support system. That means that no matter how determined or dedicated or committed you are to your recovery, there will come times that you encounter challenges or obstacles that you don’t know how to handle. You may feel pressure to perform beyond your abilities at work, school, or in the home. Perhaps you find that your communication skills are insufficient for you to be able to get by in the work world, or that socially you feel inept. Your support team – family members, friends, aftercare professionals and 12-step group members – can help you with encouragement, recommendations, support and assistance.

Get More Therapy

When you’re feeling depressed and disheartened at your pace of progress in recovery, or cannot overcome the constant cloud of negative thoughts, maybe you could benefit from continued therapy. If your treatment plan includes aftercare or continuing care, get in touch with the treatment professionals and get more counseling. There are various types of behavioral therapies that may work to help you gain more coping skills and to practice healthier behaviors – thus, lifting you from the moroseness you now experience and giving you more self-confidence about your abilities and your future. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one such approach. CBT is helpful in treating addiction to marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, nicotine, and alcohol, and you may have been involved in CBT during your treatment phase.

Aftercare counseling is sometimes referred to as booster sessions. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) (http://archives.drugabuse.gov/txmanuals/IDCA/IDCA12.html) says “The purpose of booster sessions is to provide continuing support for the recovering individual, to encourage participation in a personal recovery program, and to ensure that the person has assistance available if any problems with maintaining abstinence arise.” The goals of treatment booster sessions are:

• Provide a reminder to the patient of his or her commitment to recovery.
• Offer support and feedback to the recovering person.
• Help the individual develop a personal program of recovery.
• Be available if a relapse or personal crisis should arise.

There are also private therapists, counselors and mental health professionals that may be able to provide you with the kind of counseling or additional assistance you may need. You may obtain referrals and recommendations from your aftercare professionals, from your 12-step sponsor, your personal physician, member of clergy, or others in recovery that have had good experiences with particular therapists.

You may also wish to try alternative therapies such as meditation, acupressure, acupuncture, massage, or yoga. Each operates on its own set of principles and philosophy, but they all have a goal of achieving mind-body-spirit balance.

Medication May be Appropriate

If you are, or have been, diagnosed with severe or clinical depression, you may be prescribed antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication. It’s important that you take your medication as prescribed by your doctor and continue to take it. Many individuals who are in the throes of deep depression think that the medication they’ve been prescribed is not working and they stop taking it. This is a mistake. It takes up to 6 weeks for antidepressant or anti-anxiety medications, for example, to begin working effectively. So, if your doctor prescribes medication, be sure to take it exactly as directed and continue taking it.
It is also true that there isn’t a single medication that works for everyone with severe depression. Dosage may need to be modified, or different medication substituted, depending on how you react to the initial medication. This also takes time, so be patient and work with your doctor in searching for the best medication and dosage that will prove most effective for your depression.

Recovery experts caution that being in recovery may mean medication-assisted recovery for some individuals. Just because you take a prescribed medication to help you in recovery doesn’t negate the fact that you are in recovery. It is simply an additional tool in your recovery plan. If you need medication, take it as your doctor recommends.

Live in the Moment

Often individuals in recovery focus too much on the past or try to see too far in the future. This is especially dangerous in early recovery when relapse is a constant danger. One way to try to combat this is to strive to live in the moment. This doesn’t mean do whatever you want right now and to heck with the consequences. It does mean keeping your concentration on what is happening now, on the beauty of the world and the richness of life itself – right now. Try to focus on the words another speaks, rather than think ahead to what you’re going to say or the next thing you need to do. Make an active attempt to share your thoughts with others – loved ones, close friends, co-workers – about things that are going on now, something interesting you just heard or read, a funny story or anecdote, ideas you have on how your group (or family members) can accomplish a task, project, goal. Wring everything you can out of each and every waking moment, not in a desperate way, but in a maximizing enjoyment approach.

By living in the moment, you’re not let off the hook for your responsibility to create short- and long-term goals for your recovery. You need to do this on a regular basis. It may be daily, as in scheduling, or weekly (again, scheduling, but also marking off progress and advancing to the next level), monthly, etc. This is keeping in the present with an eye toward the future. It is not judgmental, but objective. It helps keep you on track with the recovery goals you set for yourself and also allows you flexibility to change them (add, discard, change) as new opportunities arise or you reach your stated goals.

Be Open to Change

When we’re stuck, it’s hard to see anything positive on the horizon. By working to get unstuck, using the techniques outlined here, you will be giving yourself a chance to be able to see the positives that will present themselves in your life in recovery. Do yourself a big favor: Be open to change. By giving yourself the permission to succeed, and recognizing that you have every right and opportunity to do so, you will begin to change your mindset from one of hopelessness and failure to one of hope and success.

How long will all this take? It varies from one person to the next. There is no timetable or schedule etched in stone that is universal. Again, if something works for you, by all means make use of the technique or strategy. As long as it involves healthy behavior that helps you live a clean and sober lifestyle and respects the lives and rights of others, go for it.

Remember one final point. Change occurs to each of us every day. Life is all about change. To advance toward any goal in recovery involves change. Change is good. Change will help you find meaning so that your life will never again be hopeless in recovery.

If you are using the steps to build a lasting recovery, Step 1 is the foundation upon which all other steps are built. No other step after it can be worked as it needs to be without Step 1 being thoroughly accepted. Why? Because if you don’t believe at the deepest level alcohol had made your life unmanageable and you couldn’t control it, you will test it again in the future.

If you just look at the step – admiited we were powerless over alcohol and that are lives had become unmanageable – it sounds pretty simple on the surface. But this step is a profound, life-changing step. By fully embracing this step you destroy denial. You understand your problem and you understand that you can’t control your alcohol intake NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.

So if you have struggled with other steps, maybe slipped a few times, it may be that you didn’t really get that first step. You maybe understood it intellectually, but there may still be some part of you that doesn’t think it’s really true. You might still have some "ifs" in your logic. If I had a better marriage, if I had better friends, if I had a better job…if people were less crazy…I would be able to drink normally.

Sometimes the best way to get through the first step and really address it is to write out why it might be true.  Start with the basics:

List the five most embarrassing things that happened to you that you can attribute to your drinking.

Did those most embarrassing events impact your life after the event itself? For example, you got drunk at an office party and said something to your boss that was just so inappropriate that you no longer see any possibilty of advancement.  Or maybe you did something while drunk that permanently destroyed trust with your mate.

List any blackouts after which someone told you what happened and you totally don’t remember doing it. Maybe some of these are also your most embarrassing moments. 

Have you ever gotten a DUI?  Have you gotten a second DUI? If no to either, how many times have you been eligible for a DUI if the cops had just happened to catch you (some statistics say people who get a DUI drive drunk dozens of times for every time they get caught – some hundreds of times!).  If you don’t get caught, it still counts as a risky, life-threatening, bad act that could maim or kill others.

Have you lost any relationships – friendship, love interest, spouse – where your alcohol use was one of the things they said was a precipitating issue?

List five things you have done drunk that you would NEVER do sober and clear-headed. Some of these might very well also overlap with your most embarrassing moments.  Did you sleep with someone and regret it? Did you cheat on your spouse? Did you steal something?

List any physical effects alcohol abuse or drug abuse has had on you. List them all. Diarreha. Vomiting. Ulcers. Headaches. Depression (yes, alcohol is a depression – and your depression may be clinical, but it also may be caused by alcohol use). Bad breath. Body odor. Liver problems. Bad skin or hair.

Has your ability to be in social situations been diminished by alcohol?  For example, I reallly liked parties in my early drinking days. After a few embarrassing scenes, I prefered to drink alone at home.

What is the longest period of time in the last year you have been able to go without any alcohol or mood-altering drug?  When was the last time you actually had "just one drink?"

Do you hide how much you drink? Typical methods are to pre-drink before social events so you don’t appear to drink as much while there, hiding bottles or otherwise drinking in secret.

Do many of your conversations about your social life involve bragging about how wasted you were?  Do people seem to be glazing over at your stories of how wasted you were?

List five ways you have tried to slow down your drinking or drug abuse. These might include buying smaller bottles, switching types of liquor to something you don’t really like the taste of, switching from hard liquor to beer or wine, making rules like only drinking after a certain time or only drinking away from home.

List the most unmanageable aspects of your life. Do you feel like you are losing your grip in a relationship or at work? Have you stopped paying bills on time? Does your home look like a drunk lives there? How about your physical appearance? Have you let yourself go and lowered your standards?

Write it all down. It may seem overwhelming at first, but get through it. See how you feel when you are done. Put it in a drawer for 2 weeks then take it out and read it. What has changed?  What has gotten worse?  What needs to be added to your list?

This process can be a very powerful one if you are totally honest with yourself and lay it all out.