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Lately I have been hearing a lot about certain claims of cures and the importance of understanding addiction as a disease. I’m in the camp that it is a disease. I’ve studied enough of the scientific research to know that the brains of addicts are different – whether that was true before they started using or after doesn’t change the fact that once they are in the grips of addiction the brain IS different. To claim that means it’s not a disease would be like saying someone who didn’t get diabetes until they ate a lot of sugar and was overweight doesn’t really have a disease.

The question is, however, does it really matter? Obviously it matters in terms of research into ways to treat addiction, but what I’m asking is if it really matters to the addict who is trying to get sober, right now. Probably not.

Addicts know their life is a mess. He or she knows that the drug or drink they so desperately crave doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore. They know the consequences they continue to reap: financial problems, family problems, personal health problems.

I don’t need the disease stamp of approval to know I need to do something and I need to do it now.

Addiction is a funny thing. It really alters your perceptions of the world. Addicts become uniquely talented at justifying behavior that once would have horrified them. We embarrass ourselves, hurt loved ones, and harm our health. Yet we continue to seek out the drug unless we reach that point where we say, “Enough is enough.”

Then the hard part comes: learning how to live without life being modified by substances.

So in the end we can applaud anyone who devotes their life to studying addiction, it’s causes, and possible treatments, but for the addict in this moment, on this day, the cause doesn’t really matter, just the solution.

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One of the fantasies I had when I was out there drinking was that no one really knew me. I know many of my fellow wayfarers in recovery experienced the same sort of feeling – that you were somehow different and didn’t quite know where you fit in. That feeling, sometimes called "terminal uniqueness" can cause real problems – it keeps you isolated, but it also can become a way to feed the ego – I do it this way because I’m different, and no one understands just how different I am. Rationalization becomes the norm.

In recovery, it’s absolutely cirtical that someone "know" you, whether that be a therapist, a sponsor, or just a really good friend. The person who knows you understands the mind games you play with yourself – and knows when you are deluding yourself.

As long as you entertain the belief that no one truly knows you – or in fact, perpetuate this by making sure no one does, you put your self in a very risky position.  Opening up fully and honestly to someone about your feelings, self-doubts, hopes, and dreams connects you to yourself – it’s hard to lie to yourself if you have been fully honest with another person.

It’s tempting at times to stay closed. It may even feel better on some level – it gives you an illusion of control, a belief that you are on the verge of becoming rather than someone who is just is. Sometimes it does seem more comfortable to live in the illusion of potential versus the reality of being who you are in the moment.  This is not to say that having dreams of realizing a fuller potential is a bad thing – just that if it becomes a substitute for being alive today, just as you are today, it can keep you from experiencing life as it is.

Life is not what it will be tomorrow. It is what it is, today.  Embracing what you are right now with acceptance, while still understanding that you can always grow, change, and improve, is critical to getting out of your head and connected to your heart.