Who among us hasn’t suffered? In fact, if we’re to be honest about it, we all suffer at one point or another. True, it is often a matter of degrees. Not everyone suffers the same. Some of us feel that we are suffering when, to another person in the exact same situation, no suffering is felt. That just means that we’re each unique individuals with various tolerances for pain, either physical or emotional.

That’s not an indictment. It’s just a fact.

But, getting back to suffering, let’s take a minute to look at what it means for us in recovery. When we’re in recovery, especially early recovery, it may very well seem like we’re still suffering some sort of withdrawal from drugs or alcohol. Our bodies take time to heal, and so does our brain, having to wean itself gradually off dependence on taking some toxic substance that we’ve become addicted to. We know from our days in drug or alcohol rehab that much of addiction is due to our brains becoming rewired to demand the substances. That doesn’t just go away overnight, even after the drugs have completely left our system and we’re into our recovery.

Ever experience overwhelming cravings and urges? That’s our brains demanding that we give into the compelling urge to use again. Of course, having gone through treatment, we should have some methods with which to cope with such cravings. We should have, but we often may forget what those coping methods are when we most are in need of them.

When we can’t seem to get past the miserable pangs of craving, or continue to experience pain relative to some other lingering physical or mental aspect of our addiction, we feel like we’re suffering. And, in fact, we are. But we don’t have to keep suffering and pain as a lifelong barrier to our recovery.

How can we overcome suffering? What if we’ve got some physical condition that’s not ever going to go away, such as a loss of limbs or eyesight, terminal cancer or some other debilitating disease? How can we overcome suffering in these circumstances? For anyone afflicted with such disease or traumatic and permanent injury, the way past suffering may involve different types of healing. Professional counseling may help, along with other forms of therapy that may include hypnosis, meditation or spiritual guidance.

One thing we should get clear in our minds right now is that if there is suffering, there is also healing from suffering. We all know or have seen or heard about individuals who have experienced tremendous suffering, unimaginable suffering, and somehow these same individuals are able to overcome pain of a magnitude that we cannot even fathom. They don’t have any more of a well-spring of ability to overcome pain and suffering than we do, yet they are able to do so and we feel that we are not.

That, in and of itself, should give us hope. If others can overcome such pain and suffering, then we can as well. But just how should we go about it?

First, we shouldn’t crush ourselves with unnecessarily tough deadlines. In other words, we cannot demand of ourselves that we simply stop feeling the pain, that our suffering cease by such and such an arbitrary date. We can’t force ourselves to not feel pain or to be sad or overwhelmed by despair. But what we can do is target realistic goals for ourselves. These may include setting a date that we’re going in for professional counseling and giving ourselves a good six months to see some improvement. It may mean that we prepare a schedule for our daily activities that entails getting out of the house and being with others so that we’re not moping around at home, feeling sorry for ourselves and inviting further pain.

It doesn’t have to be a big deal to be effective. All it has to be is something that works for us. We can obtain recommendations from our doctor, our loved ones, our sponsor or our therapist, but, in the end, it’s what works for our particular situation that matters. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with trial and error. What may have worked for others may not work for us, or it may work if combined with some other coping method or helpful hint.

It’s also good to keep in mind that for most of us in recovery, suffering isn’t permanent. It is fleeting and can be overcome with a good attitude, healthy lifestyle and attending to what’s important to our recovery.

How often do we catch ourselves thinking that we’ll tend to this or that tomorrow? We may believe that we have all the time in the world, or, on the other hand, that we’re fearful of tackling some difficult issue or problem and don’t want to do anything today. Either way, we’re cutting ourselves off from the opportunity to make great headway in our personal recovery journey.

Here’s another way that we may want to consider looking at living in the present and doing things now. We have the very real chance of getting something positive out of it. Why sit around and bemoan our fate or shrink from the chance to shine, to perfect our abilities, to broaden our horizons or to engage in and be happy with new friends? The only thing lacking here is our decision to get up off the chair or couch and get going. That doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to travel to accomplish something, just that we motivate ourselves into action.

Acting on our intentions is where it’s at. We don’t accomplish anything merely by dreaming about it or wishing that it were so. We need to put together a plan of attack, figure out the best way to approach whatever the goal or issue or problem or opportunity is, and then go to it.

In fact, the more enthusiasm and energy we put into our actions, the greater the likelihood of our achieving the success we seek.

Think about the stories we hear in the rooms of others who have analyzed a thorny issue, sought advice and counsel from others, then weighed and balanced their options, took action and reaped the result of a positive outcome. As they tell the account of what transpired, how they tackled the situation, look at their eyes and hear the excitement or wonder in their voices as they relate their surprise and delight about the outcome. What this shows us is that every person is capable of achieving great things, whether they may be considered minor achievements by others or tremendous accomplishments. To the person who actually accomplishes them, they are signs of success. And that is what matters greatly.

Granted, there are many times when we feel we don’t have the enthusiasm to give it our all. We may be on the mend from a lengthy recuperation period after our addictive past laid waste to our lives. We may still feel vulnerable and raw from treatment, not really ready to rush pell-mell into all kinds of action – even though we know we need to get going with our action plans. That’s okay and it’s perfectly normal to feel this way to begin with. When we’re in early recovery, we’re just getting acclimated to what recovery really means. It takes time to become more grounded in the recovery principles and to begin to understand how we can change our lives according to plans that we make.

But it still is incumbent upon us to take small steps each day to do something positive for ourselves and our future. If we feel uncertain or lack courage, talk with our sponsor about what we can do to help firm up our resolve, to sharpen our recovery toolkit, even to begin adding to our belief in ourselves that we can move ahead in sobriety, we can learn how to live a healthier lifestyle and we can again be happy.

Think of ourselves as a beautiful small plant just beginning to bud. We need water and sunlight and warmth and good soil in order to grow and flourish. When we are in recovery, we need the good soil of the foundation of recovery, the nourishment and warmth of our sponsor and fellow 12-step group members, the love that is like water, light, warmth and soil that we get from our loved ones and family members. All of these help us grow and become stronger, firmly rooted in recovery, reaching for the sun and happiness.

From time to time, we may need to shake ourselves up a bit. Give ourselves a good talking-to and rouse ourselves up from the couch. There’s no time like the present to get out there and do things that will benefit our recovery. Every day is a new beginning, starting with today.

If we didn’t know who Thomas Edison was, the quote about opportunity here might be dismissed as either a joke or irrelevant. It is funny, in the sense that most of us can easily identify ourselves in it. Who among us hasn’t wanted to steer clear of some activity we perceived as too difficult, requiring too much time, or one for which we could see no clear outcome or reward? Too much work, and we shake our heads and find something else to do, something with a more immediate payoff that we’re more inclined to choose.

In recovery, there’s a whole lot of hard work involved. That much we know for sure. What the old-timers in the 12-step rooms say about finding a silver lining amidst all this pain and turmoil may be a little hard for some of us to believe, let alone be able to recognize. Yet, as with most truths, there is a sound basis for their optimism. Nothing succeeds like success, and these folks have been there. What may look like an arduous task or daunting problem or issue to us at the present time may, in fact, turn out to be a golden opportunity in disguise. Okay, right now it looks like overalls and work, but we have to train ourselves to see beyond the denim and dirt to what may be a transformation into something productive and rewarding.

Still unconvinced? Don’t worry, you’re among good company. It takes a great deal of practice and, yes, a whole lot of hard work, to be able to see much beyond what’s right in front of us today. Since none of us is a mind reader that takes some doing. Some would call it taking a leap of faith. But we don’t have to be religious to put stock in something that we know we have to work towards, but also realize that there’s no sure outcome at the other end.

We can, however, begin to realize that we will learn a great deal whatever the outcome. If we try something and the results either do not meet our expectations or we find that along the way our goals have changed, guess what? We have learned something. If we attempt a difficult task and succeed, guess what? We have learned something. In each case, we can take what we’ve learned and modify our recovery plan going forward, changing our goals, eliminating some and adding others.

In the process, we should also take some time to look back at what we’ve already accomplished and allow the fact that we have put in a great deal of overall dirt work to get where we are today. Doesn’t that make us feel good? It should also motivate us, spurring us on to tackle ever more challenging tasks and creating what are called stretch goals for ourselves.

Suppose we’ve not had a lot of success in crafting goals or executing our plans? Suppose we’re just starting out on our recovery journey and are filled with uncertainty and fear about our abilities as well as our judgment? Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Start by discussing what we think and feel with our 12-step sponsor. Listen to what our fellow 12-step group members have to say in the rooms. Read all we can and become more knowledgeable about the process of recovery. Then, start with something small, a goal that we believe we can achieve. It can be as simple as living today in sobriety, taking it one day at a time.

That’s really what recovery is. This is a process, and we live it day by day. We cannot live tomorrow’s day, for that is not yet here. We can’t relive yesterday, because that tomorrow is long past. When we center ourselves in the here and now and open our eyes and hearts and minds to what is available to us now, we may just find that opportunities are all around us.

Don’t we all know about walls that hem us in? Before we entered recovery, we may have felt trapped in the walls of our own addiction. Admittedly, we did this to ourselves, but that certainly didn’t make it any less confining or do anything to ameliorate the pain we felt.

Even when we went through treatment and then entered recovery, we weren’t totally out of the woods. All of a sudden we were expected, or we expected of ourselves, to know what to do and when to do it. That was probably the last thing that we actually experienced. What we did know was that there was a whole lot of uncertainty going on with us. We not only didn’t know how to react to these uncomfortable feelings, but we still had to deal with the recurring cravings and urges, the sense of failure and hopelessness that so often accompanies the first few days and weeks of sobriety.

What we did was to follow the recommendations we had been given. We went to our 12-step meetings. We got our sponsor. We started the hard work of learning about the principles of recovery, and began the even harder work of doing the Twelve Steps.

Still, for many of us, it may have felt like we were still surrounded by walls, even hemmed in by them. There seemed to be no bright and shiny future. Everything seemed dulled, routine, without hope or promise. Sure, others, including our sponsor, said that these feelings would fade over time. Maybe we believed them, maybe we didn’t. All we knew was that it was like we couldn’t get a breath of fresh air, like life seemed stale.

We were encouraged to find something that interested us and then to pursue it, given, of course, that the pursuit or goal would be conducive to our long-term recovery. If we listened to this recommendation and did something about it, we may have found that there was actually some truth to it. We may have begun to find some interest in a person or activity outside our own immediate problems or concerns.

Now, fast forward to our being actively involved in pursuing a goal that really captivates us. What this goal is doesn’t matter, as long as it helps us grow and keep moving forward in our recovery. Maybe the goal involves creating a business from the ground-up. It could be building or buying a house, deciding to get married and have a family, traveling to different places, embarking on a new career, or going back to school.

The key question to ask ourselves is: Does this pursuit really jazz us? Do we find ourselves smiling at the thought of being with those people, doing that activity, immersing ourselves in the learning process? If so, we are finding our bliss. And when we begin to find our bliss, those self-confining walls will start to fall away around us.

There never were really any walls to begin with, only in the figurative sense. We will find that our life in recovery can be whatever we want it to be. Prepare to do the hard work required to attain whatever goal we set for ourselves, but also recognize that there’s a great deal of happiness – bliss, if you will – involved in the actual pursuit of those goals.

Joseph Conrad had it right after all. Not only will the walls disappear, but the universe will show us opening doors everywhere we turn. In recovery and in life, isn’t that what we’re all really after?

We look at the world around us, but do we really see? If we do use our eyes, are we allowing our thoughts to deceive us about what is real and what is not? Are we discerning in our view of what is before us, or are we just drifting along, seeing nothing?

Think of the sense of sight. It is a wondrous gift, really, but one that we so often take for granted. We see, but we don’t really see. What do we mean by that? Let’s look at how we neglect this precious sense.

Think of how we ignored the signs and symptoms of our addiction for so long. The proof was there before us, if we only looked with our eyes to see it. The mirror could have shown us the haggard face, sunken eyes, emaciated frame, the hyperactivity or glassy stare. But, of course, we could not see it then.

Maybe our loved ones and friends tried to convince us to take a look at what we’d become and we dismissed them. We couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see what they were seeing. That would have meant taking off the blinders and assessing the mess we’d made of our lives. We weren’t ready for that, so we continued seeing without seeing. We were sleepwalking through life, and that’s all we cared to do.

Somewhere along the way, however, those of us who decided to kick addiction and embrace recovery took off the blinders. We entered treatment and, as part of the healing process, began to learn how the disease of addiction had clouded our vision and kept us prisoners in a self-induced labyrinth for so long. It was, no doubt, painful to see. We had to acknowledge what we’d done as a result of our addiction. We had to admit our responsibility for our actions. Then, we began to learn about triggers and how to identify and recognize them, how to cope with cravings and urges, and how to practice healthier behaviors so that we may live a life of sobriety.

All of this involved learning to see, how to use our eyes. The reality that we first saw may have been pretty frightening. We may have felt a great deal of shame and guilt over our past. But we also learned that we are the architects of our lives. We can choose what to do based on our resolve to live a life in recovery. What we see now is likely greatly changed from what we saw back then. We have learned how to use our eyes, not only to see what is real right now, but also to see what is possible for us.

As a means of double-checking whether we are really using our eyes, we can verify with our sponsor and close allies what we see. Let’s take the example of us reacting with confidence during times of stress, utilizing our coping strategies and making use of the counsel and advice of our trusted others. If we are truly seeing through the eyes of reality, others will acknowledge our progress and comment upon it. If we need a little help in being able to recognize truth from falseness, there again, our sponsor and allies can help us see with our eyes and discern the reality instead of the untruths.

Be willing to take action when we realize that we are deluding ourselves, preferring, perhaps, to take momentary comfort in what is not real. Be willing to confront our self-deception and shoulder the responsibility to keep moving forward in our recovery, even though it may feel strange to us at first. Remember, we get better at being able to recognize and overcome challenges the more we tackle them. It’s all part of using our eyes and doing the work of recovery.