We cannot and should not underestimate the power of believing in ourselves. And it’s not just a little belief that we need, but a lot. In fact, there could be an argument for the idea that we simply need to believe in ourselves all the way.

For some of us in recovery, that’s almost out of the question. We might even say that the idea is ridiculous. After all, our track record of accomplishment hasn’t been all that good, and we certainly don’t hold ourselves up to be the paragon of virtue, let alone a model for others to emulate. Having said this, it’s likely that those of us who feel this way are still smarting from the pain of overcoming our addiction. It’s more likely than not that we’re in the early stages of sobriety, learning what we can about this new life – one that we’ve freely chosen – that still seems too new to us, too alien, and not at all comfortable.

But it’s also true for some of us who’ve been in effective recovery for some time. We’ve done all the right things and managed to maintain our sobriety, perhaps even in the face of some pretty tough challenges along the way. Yet we still don’t believe in ourselves, let alone believe all the way.

How can we remedy the situation, whether we’re new to recovery and having a bit of a rough time of it or we’ve been sober for a long time and haven’t yet found reason to believe in ourselves? Here are some suggestions:

• Expect a little progress every day. Set a goal for ourselves that constitutes some action from our recovery plan that we will attend to today. Do everything possible to ensure that we complete that action to the best of our ability. Expect that we will make progress and make a note of it when we do. This helps us to see that our results directly track back to our actions. It also helps us to see that we can accomplish what we set out to do, and that translates into a little bit more belief in ourselves.
• Add some new element to our daily schedule. It could be taking a different travel route to work or to a 12-step meeting or deciding that we’re going to go out of our way to be welcoming to a newcomer to the rooms. What we do each day can become boring and tedious, especially if we adhere to a rigid schedule. But it doesn’t have to be. There’s no rule that says we must do things exactly the same way day in and day out, week in and week out, month in and month out, for the rest of our lives in recovery. One way to jazz things up is to add some new element to our schedule, daily, if possible, but certainly weekly. Again, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. Change and progress is measured in small steps, but continuous ones. The more we can become excited about our new life in recovery, the more we will begin to believe in ourselves.
• Create some stretch long-term goals. It may be difficult for us to see much beyond the next three to six months, certainly a year, much less anticipate what our lives might be like several years down the line. Yet one of the paramount principles in recovery is to create goals for ourselves. These should, of course, consist of short-term or immediate goals that we can realistically achieve in a short period of time. But it should also include medium-range (several months) and long-term goals (one to five years and longer). Be sure to include some goals that may seem quite out of reach at the present time, goals that cause us to stretch and grow. These are the goals attached to the vision we have or want for ourselves in the future. And they very much depend on the hierarchy of action that we take to achieve them. The more we have to look forward to, and the more diligent we are in acknowledging and celebrating our successes along the way, the more we will begin to believe in ourselves and our abilities.
• Whatever we do, give it all we’ve got. There’s no sense in dipping our toes in the recovery water just a little bit and then retreating. When we decided that we’d get clean and sober, it wasn’t just for today. While we probably weren’t entirely sure what recovery would consist of, we knew it would take work and time. So, one of the best pieces of advice on how to begin to believe in ourselves, and believe all the way, is to do the hard work of recovery and give it all we’ve got.

Follow these simple suggestions and see if it doesn’t make a difference. Remember, our lives are what we make them, and we are the ones who make our future. Believe in ourselves all the way and we’ll be closer to having our dreams become reality.

For most of us, we can count on there being a tomorrow. Some of us, however, will not see a tomorrow. In either case, there’s definitely no time like the present to do things that we have either been putting off or are too lazy to attempt today.

This isn’t meant to be a downer. Instead, it’s meant to motivate us, to spur us to action. For it is only by acting that we accomplish our goals, whatever they may be. It doesn’t matter if the goal requires long-term planning and step-by-step achievement of goals or the desired outcome is one that we want to accomplish today. If we fail to act, it won’t be realized. Not today, not ever. Goals are only met when we put in the effort and do the hard work required to achieve them.

Who can make these changes but us? Our loved ones can’t make them. Our family and friends can’t do them for us. Neither can our sponsor or therapist or anyone else. Others can make recommendations, encourage and support us in our recovery endeavors, even inspire us with their actions, but they simply cannot do that which we must do ourselves.

Why do we put off things, anyway? For some, it’s the fear of failure. For others, it’s the fear of rejection. For still others, it may be a combination of the two. Or, we may just be lazy, feel we have too much already on our plate and think that there’s always tomorrow to get busy and take care of matters.

One way to overcome the tendency to put off what needs to be done is to make incremental small steps toward making changes. In other words, we don’t have to bite off more than we feel we can chew. Just take small bites, or do some little bit of the prep work for making changes. Let’s take an example, one that we can all probably relate to.

When we first entered recovery, we knew we wanted to maintain our sobriety. But this life of abstinence was all new to us, and the prospect of being sober forever seemed an impossible goal. We were fearful, unsure, confused. How could we achieve this goal? We began by focusing on our life today and taking it one day and one step at a time, literally. We cannot predict what will happen tomorrow, but if we are intent on making changes, we can take the small steps today that will add up to our being better able to realize and fulfill our goal in the days, weeks and months to come.

We know how good it feels to receive our milestone awards. When we’ve reached that first 30 days of sobriety, then 60 and 90 and one year anniversary, we have a good feeling about what we’ve done and what we’ve been able to accomplish. That marks a tremendous change for most of us, and one that we rightfully deserve to be proud of.

Remember that we grow as we learn, and we learn and grow as we do. Little things do add up, and the sum total contributes to our solid foundation in recovery. We should also not concern ourselves with how much and how far others seem to have come, for there is a unique path of recovery for each of us. Our trajectory in sobriety may be similar to that of another, but it is our path alone simply because we are the ones who are traveling it, making the necessary choices and doing the actions we’ve set for ourselves in our recovery plan.

Make making changes a little easier by setting a small but desirable goal for ourselves today. Then, figure out the best way to go about achieving that goal. Then, get busy and do what needs to be done. At the end of the day, we’ll have made progress and made some small change in our life. And that’s an integral and important lesson in how we make changes going forward.

Whenever we think of General George S. Patton, those of us who know our history, that is, many of us will have an image of George C. Scott, the late actor, in the role of the irascible military man. That General Patton was a determined individual, we have no doubt. History tells us so, and there are numerous accounts of his courage on the battlefield, leading his troops and providing inspiration during the darkest hours.

But General Patton was also lambasted by the press, disparaged by many who deemed him impatient, impulsive, and intolerant of officers who failed to achieve success on the battlefield. That was the media opinion, while actual accounts say something quite different. To his men, he inspired the belief that under his command, they could not be defeated. When you’re in a war, you want to have this kind of confidence in your leader. This inspires you to accept difficult, seemingly impossible challenges, and to exert all your effort to overcome the challenges and achieve victory.

Therefore, it is totally appropriate that we single out General Patton’s quote about accepting challenges so that we may feel the exhilaration of victory. When we’re in recovery, we know a thing or two about challenges. We encounter them every day, sometimes more than we feel we’re able to bear. We need to feel inspired, to believe in the example of others who have come up against some of the same types of problems or issues and somehow come out on the other side jubilant and victorious.

Sometimes it takes us a while to find the right answer for our own situation. Sometimes we feel that our difficulties or problems are just too tough to be overcome, that no one has ever been in this exact predicament before, or that they just don’t understand what we’re going through. That, however, is rarely the case. While it’s true that each person’s experience and journey in recovery is different, they aren’t all that dissimilar. There are enough commonalities that we can draw correlations between what strategy or technique worked effectively for this individual or that one so that we can adapt it to our own circumstances.

There isn’t a single blueprint to winning this war. The path to victory may involve tackling numerous and successively more difficult challenges. But emerging victorious from the effort will prove more than worth all the hard work we’ve put into it.

Think of the battlefield analogy again. If soldiers (us) have the motivation to keep advancing the line, to keep pushing forward, and then somewhere in the middle of battle we just decide to give up or retreat, what have we accomplished? We certainly won’t be feeling the exhilaration of victory. Of course, if our strategy is to take stock of the situation and recalculate our position, changing course so as to better affect the proposed outcome, that is adapting our tactics and making use of our intelligence. Then, we’re more likely to realize a positive outcome.

It’s the same thing with respect to our recovery. We won’t always have the answers right in front of us. Even if they are staring us in the face, we may not recognize them for what they are, or feel that we are ready to tackle what needs to be done. Nevertheless, we must push forward and keep on doing the hard work of recovery if we are to achieve victory.

There’s something else about accepting challenges in recovery that’s worth mentioning here. The more we tackle challenges and achieve the desired goal, the more we learn and grow in strength. In this there is a cumulative effect. In a way, it’s like the multiplied effect of the efforts of the many on the battlefield, and the constant push toward the desired goal. There’s a saying that "Nothing succeeds like success." That also seems appropriate here. The more we do and the more we achieve according to our goals, the stronger and more confident we become in our recovery. Life just gets better. And isn’t that a goal worth working for, a victory to savor?

Thinking of ourselves as gentle isn’t a thought that comes easily to most of us. To some, a gentle person may be regarded as somewhat of a simple being, someone without sophistication or education or a person who is naïve about the world. But all we have to do is look at the example of some of the great philosophers and teachers, religious and otherwise, to know that this is absolutely not the case. In fact, looking at Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa, for example, we can see that a gentle person can not only influence the world, but profoundly shake it as well.

Applying this to recovery, it may mean that our gentle way of going about things may prove to be a strong influence on others who are just now finding their way in sobriety. If we show by what we do, and it helps another to find the light of recovery in the company of men and women committed to this sober lifestyle, then we are providing not only an example but a way to help motivate others to do so as well.

This doesn’t mean that we should fashion our lives as if we are teachers. It does mean, however, that we should strive to do the best we can in everything that we do. If we encounter problems or issues that seem difficult or insurmountable, we should do as we have done before: Ask for the advice and counsel of our sponsor, talk with our therapist, gather information and engage our family and loved ones in creating a constructive solution. Do so gently, humbly, and with a sense of purpose. This will likely lead to not only a satisfactory resolution of the problem or issue, but also serve as a self-motivator to continue living in this way of self-discovery.

And such self-discovery can help inspire and motivate others in their own recovery journey.

Let’s say, however, that we’re early to recovery. It’s all just so new. We’re frightened and uncertain and don’t much like the fact that we can’t do things the way we used to. Think about the fact that we are beginning to see things a little more clearly than we did when we were stoned or drunk all the time, or hanging out at the casino or cruising the bars looking for a one-night stand or whatever our "drug of choice" was. Sure, it’s a little scary here in the sober light of day. We don’t really know what to expect, especially if this is our first time in recovery.

We certainly don’t feel much like being gentle. In fact, we may want to shout or cry or hole up at home under the covers. Our way of life has been turned upside down. Yes, we are now free of the hangovers and DTs and withdrawal symptoms, at least, most of them, but we aren’t altogether sure about what to do next.

At this point, the only recommendation is to keep going to meetings, secure a sponsor and dive into the work of the Twelve Steps. Keep any appointments with our therapist, medical doctors, and continue taking any medication that may have been prescribed for us. Adhering to our schedule, taking proper care of ourselves, and learning as much as we can about recovery can all help bring stability to our lives. With that stability comes a gradual increase in our self-confidence, trust in our abilities, and hope for the future.

This gentle path to recovery has another upside as well. Whether we recognize it or not, we are proving to ourselves that we can do it. We can live a life in sobriety and realize our goals at the same time. We can be happy and productive. We can inspire others. We can, in fact, shake the world – the environs and the people around us with whom we interact on a daily basis.

Does planning your day fill you with dread? Are you loathe to look at your to-do list because it contains items that are difficult and you have been putting them off for far too long? If so, join the group. We’ve all been there and, if we’re being truthful, we’ve probably been there more times than we like.

There must be a secret to planning our days that can help us make better use of our time. Even more, there have to be tips we can learn that will help us look forward to our daily activities, instead of getting sick at the thought of some of the thorny or touchy issues we’ll have to face.

Guess what? There are things we can do to help us plan our day. No, we’re not talking about daily organizers or post-it notes affixed to our desks, the refrigerator, or the bathroom mirror. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with these, they are more of a reminder than a strategy. What we really need is something to motivate us to get going and plan our daily schedule.

One strategy is to use our imagination to help plan our day. What do we mean by using our imagination? Does this mean sitting around dreaming about what we should be doing, instead of actually doing it? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Let’s look at how using our imagination to help plan our day can and does work.

We each wake up in the morning. We each step out of bed and go through our morning ritual of getting ready for work, for school, for tending to the children, the household, running errands, going to meetings, whatever. What we can do to prepare ourselves to greet the day and to make plans that will help us fulfill our goals is to take a few moments before we get out of bed to visualize what we want for ourselves and our life, beginning with today.

By visualize, we mean actually using our imagination to see ourselves in the circumstance that we desire. See what it looks like. Envision us achieving a long-sought-after goal, or create a goal that we really want. Once we start to see ourselves in that setting, having achieved that goal, we create a mental mind-set that spurs us to take action to achieve that goal.

It isn’t enough to just set goals. We need to see ourselves having fulfilled them in order to be truly motivated. And this isn’t as difficult as it sounds. If a particular goal seems too lofty, too out of reach for us to even contemplate, we can begin with something that’s more realistic, closer to home, easier to achieve. Once we see ourselves achieving that goal, our mind will begin translating that positive accomplishment into an action plan, a step-by-step process for how we go about achieving the goal.

Here’s another benefit of using our imagination to help plan our day. Once we develop a positive attitude toward making plans to achieve our stated goals, we will begin to recognize opportunities that naturally present themselves to us in the course of the day. When we are actively working toward accomplishment of our goal, we can see patterns unfolding and possibly recognize a potential new avenue or way to streamline our actions to help us arrive at where we want to go faster or more efficiently.

Spend a few minutes each morning in imagination and see how it helps transform our ideas into action plans for the day.