Doesn’t it seem like we’re always looking for the quickest way to accomplish something? It isn’t necessarily that we’re trying to shirk our responsibilities or that we dislike what we’re doing. We may just be in a hurry, or have too many other pressing responsibilities clamoring for our attention. If, for example, we’re trying to take care of our family or are being pressured at work to perform, we may fall into the pattern of trying shortcuts.

The problem with shortcuts is that, sooner or later, they just don’t work. It could be that we by-passed a critical step or we skipped through so fast that we failed to absorb whatever it is that we were supposed to have learned. Instead of gaining a thorough understanding of the concept, issue, or assignment, we may have glossed over the really important points to the end result that we’re just winging it. That’s not a very productive outcome.

Another commonly heard phrase that’s worth repeating is, "If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well." This gets right to the heart of the matter. We know we want certain things for ourselves in our recovery, right? We may value being able to withstand whatever cravings and urges come our way or look toward the day when we are financially secure again. Perhaps our long-term goal is to have children, or get a better job, or buy a house, or go on a long-overdue trip with the family. Imagine how taking shortcuts could seriously undermine any one of these goals.

When we decide to forget about the interim steps and charge right up to the finish line, so to speak, we’re not being honest with ourselves or others. We really haven’t done the work. Therefore, we really don’t deserve the accolade or the accomplishment. It’s as simple as that.

Of course, we may be quite adept at bluffing, having spun more than a few tales in our time, especially when we were deep into our addiction. But that was then and this is now. When we are in recovery, we really owe it to ourselves to be totally honest in everything we say and do – but most importantly, what we do. Action is the only thing that gets us where we want to go, whether that is a goal for today or a long-term goal that will entail many months and/or years of work to achieve.

Again, if it is a goal we value, if it’s something we really want for ourselves, there’s simply no point in trying to eliminate the steps required to get there.

This does not mean, however, that we cannot or should not ask for help along the way to enable us to better achieve our goals. Asking for help doesn’t mean that we want someone else to do the work we need to do ourselves. It just means asking for insight, perhaps, or guidance, something to point us in the right direction. We’re familiar with asking for help from our experience with our counselors and therapists during rehab, and after rehab, with our sessions with our 12-step sponsor as we began our recovery work.

So, having a kind of a roadmap to guide us, we know we need to pass all of the required markers along the way toward accomplishment of goals that are meaningful to us. This assumes, of course, that we have taken the time to a) identify what’s really important to us, b) crafted a plan of action to help us get there, and c) enlisted help where we need it.

In the process of analyzing our recovery plan, we may discover that we’ve outgrown certain goals that we once had as critically important. It could be that we’ve already achieved them, but haven’t acknowledged that we have. Perhaps, however, we’ve now embarked upon a slightly different course of action, having identified an interest or opportunity that we chose to pursue. This is a sign that we are evolving, growing and learning how to process and make sound decisions affecting our life.

Should we decide to continue down this new road, it is highly recommended that we revise our recovery goals to reflect this change in direction. If, however, we’re avoiding doing certain things on our list because we think they’re too difficult, take too much time, or we lack the knowledge or ability to get through them, we need to stop and recognize that we’re again resorting to taking shortcuts.

Make a plan, including short-term, mid-range and long-term goals. Create action items that, once we complete them, help us make progress toward our goals. Revise our plan as new opportunities arise. Be open to the possibility that our interests may change and our horizons broaden. But, be firm in our commitment to avoid taking shortcuts.

We hear a lot of talk about hope in the 12-step rooms. Some complain that they have no hope, or that they’ve lost hope, while others speak eloquently or passionately about finding hope where none before existed. What are we to make of the wide rift between the two extremes? Could it be that they’re just manifestations of hope in one form or another? In other words, if we despair, is it just that we want hope so desperately that we feel the pain of not having it? Could it be that we need to feed our hope in order to realize it?

Interesting thought, isn’t it? Let’s see how this might work in recovery. While every situation is unique and there’s no intention here of stereotyping any one individual, let’s take an example that may seem somewhat familiar.

John, a recovering alcoholic and drug addict of 20-plus years, who also suffers from PTSD, depression, heart disease and diabetes, has just emerged from his fifth stint in rehab and is trying to find his way back into a life of sobriety. John is also a bit obsessive about his daily routine, figuring that the only way he’ll be able to maintain his sobriety is through rigid adherence to every little detail on his to-do list.

Every day, sometimes several times a day, John makes his way to one of several 12-step group meetings in his community. He’s well-known in the groups and others greet him warmly and welcome him back. Despite his numerous trips to rehab, John has an air about him that makes others want to be around him. It isn’t pity or a sense of obligation. Maybe it’s an understanding that each of us has to find our own way, and we seek and gain the comfort, support and encouragement from others just like us in the rooms.

What does John need to feed his hope? A few successes along the way would be good, right? How about his being able to make it to his first-month anniversary – this time around? Even if he feels he has to tend to his rounds this way, if it works for John, it is a success, correct? Each success is like a pat on the back, a job well done, an achievement for which John can be proud. Add up the little successes and, over time, John will be able to look at a body of work he’s accomplished due to the effort he put into it.

Forget the fact that it took John more than a few times to "get it" in rehab. The fact is that he did get it, and he kept coming back to the rooms. He wants to succeed, and somewhere inside of him is a beacon of hope — dim though it may be at times — that guides him.

Here’s another example. Andrea is fresh from treatment for addiction to prescription painkillers following severe injuries suffered in an automobile accident several years ago. A mother of two young children, she is eager to be on the way to recovery – yet fearful that she’ll fall back into her addictive ways just to alleviate her continuing pain.

Andrea knows that she has to learn how to manage her symptoms and has embarked upon a comprehensive physical rehabilitation program in addition to continuing counseling over her abuse of opioids. She feels she’s making progress but the demands of motherhood, and the guilt she feels about her addiction, sometimes coalesce into a lingering depression and fear that she doesn’t have what it takes to stay clean and sober. Andrea doesn’t yet have a sponsor.

What will help Andrea find hope? For starters, she needs to get a sponsor, someone who can help her navigate the early days of recovery, learn about the Principles of Recovery and begin to work the Twelve Steps. She needs to understand that recovery is today, and what we do in the present. It isn’t yesterday and it isn’t tomorrow. All of our future depends on the building blocks or actions we take today.

And every little success helps build a stronger foundation in recovery, helps add to our sense of self-confidence and self-respect and, most of all, feeds our hope.

Maybe we can all take a lesson from this. There is no one, not any single person, who cannot find hope in recovery. It may take some of us a bit longer than others to discover it, but it is there within our reach, if we but allow ourselves the permission to recognize and experience it.

If it seems as if we’re trying to tackle too much and not realizing much in the way of accomplishment, maybe it’s a good sign that we need to approach our recovery tasks in a slightly different manner. While it is a positive thing to have a number of goals on our wish-list, it could very well be that we’re too scattered right now, jumbling everything together and not seeing what needs to be done first.

This isn’t a value judgment on either what we have as our goals or our ability to do the work to see them come to fruition. What it is, however, is a simple strategy that may allow us to get past our current logjam and get on with the business of recovery.

Why do we refer to it as a business? For one thing, business requires strategy. It means developing short-range goals, some that are a bit further out, and then long-range ones that often take considerable time and effort to achieve. Business isn’t something that you can ignore and hope that it will be successful on its own. It never works out that way. So, if we approach our life in recovery and adopt some of the techniques that work well in business, this could be a very helpful strategy.

Start with the fact that we have too much going on right now. Recognize that we’re not putting forth our best effort in any direction simply because we have too many potential avenues to travel spread out before us and we can’t seem to choose one over the other. Or, to be more precise, we can’t see which one will lead us to the next logical one in the progression toward our goals.

Could it be that stripping down the route selection to the very basic path might be the best and most obvious solution? Let’s see how this might work.

Suppose we have a goal of becoming financially sound again after years of spendthrift ways or throwing away money in pursuit of our addiction. We’ve accumulated significant debt, owe everybody we know and then some, don’t have a cent in the bank or just barely enough to cover the bills, and, on top of it all, haven’t a clue where to start to get our financial house in order. Most financial planning experts will advise that we put together a budget, eliminating all nonessential expenditures, and really dive in and stick to the budget. This requires rigid adherence to the overall plan in order for us to swim out of the pool of debt we’re drowning in. But it does produce results over time.

Suppose, too, that our family members and loved ones have a number of expectations of us that we want dearly to be able to fulfill. Feeling residual guilt and shame over our past addictive behavior, especially those actions which brought harm to others, we probably try to do too much, too soon. We’re not really ready, if we’re new to recovery, to resume all the duties and responsibilities that come with being the head of the family, a participating partner in the household, or a dutiful son or daughter.

We have to learn to ask for understanding, to promise to get back on our feet as soon as we are ready, and to acknowledge that we do have responsibilities that we fully intend to fulfill. If our loved ones and family members have our best interests at heart and have fully committed to supporting our recovery, they will understand that we need time to become more grounded in our new life of sobriety.

What it all boils down to is simplification of our daily life, eliminating what is not absolutely essential right now, and concentrating on our recovery – first and foremost. Nothing else should take our focus for the near future. There will be plenty of time to get back to earning a buck and making a profit, but for now, what should be our overriding concern is securing a sound footing in the principles of recovery, putting action plans into effect, and making each day count in recovery.

Will it be easy? Probably not, but it will get better with each passing day. Recognize that this does not mean abdicating our responsibilities, however. We still need to do what is right and appropriate – just not all at one time. If we ask for patience and understanding and are actively engaged in putting our life back on track in recovery, others will take notice and be more inclined to support our efforts. Be encouraged and be vigilant. Get started today to simplify, streamline, and eliminate unnecessary distractions and hone in on our recovery efforts.

When we’re in recovery from addiction, one thing is certain: We remember our darkness. While it’s true that we’re advised not to live in the past, and this is certainly a recommendation to take to heart and abide by, it’s also true that there’s value in recognizing that darkness. The reason for this is that by knowing our own darkness, we can instantly identify it when we see it in others, as well as when it begins to resurface in us.

And, yes, the darkness will seek to re-introduce itself into our lives, usually when we least expect it. The fact is that life is unexpected. Not everything is planned out. That’s the good news and the bad news. It’s good news because that means we have choice. We can choose how to live our lives, regardless of the darkness we’ve managed to climb out of. It can be bad news if we allow ourselves to be engulfed by the unknown, paralyzed with fear over the prospect of change, mired in the patterns of our past.

How do we deal with darkness when it comes back to haunt us, or when we’re presented with it in the company of others? Here are some strategies that may help.

• Know it for what it is. We have to recognize the darkness before we can adopt a workable strategy for dealing with it. If we see ourselves falling into our old ways, for example, that’s a sign of the darkness and a clear sign we need to utilize coping mechanisms in our toolkit.
• Remember we have choice. There’s nothing written in stone that says that just because we feel in a black mood or like things aren’t going well that we have to revert to what got us into trouble in the first place. We have choices and we can make good decisions. If we need help, ask for it from our 12-step sponsor, our therapist, or our loved ones and family members.
• Act accordingly. Once we recognize the darkness, analyze our available strategies for dealing with it and act accordingly. It may be as simple as removing ourselves from the source of the darkness, as in steering clear of acquaintances that are still deep into using and have no desire to see us clean and sober. It may be we need to adopt a more proactive and positive mind-set of our own.
• Keep busy. It goes without saying that if we’re actively involved in working our recovery, our minds won’t sit idle and drift into trouble areas. At least, that’s generally the way it works. By keeping busy, not only with doing the work of recovery but also taking good care of ourselves, we are doing ourselves a favor by helping keep darkness at bay. It’s also a whole lot more interesting when we’re involved in activities that put us into contact with others engaged in healthy lifestyle pursuits.
• Keep notes. Don’t be jolted when darkness creeps up and threatens to derail our progress. We can help ourselves by keeping notes on the particular circumstances, where we were, what we were doing, what prompted the darkness, and how we’ve been able to successfully deal with it (or not) in the past. This tactic helps us stay on top of workable strategies and shows us where we may need to adapt or revise what we have. It’s also a proactive way of dealing with darkness so that we’re better prepared when it rears up to challenge us again.

A final point about darkness that’s worth making is that we cannot assume that we’ll always be plagued by it or free of it. Life isn’t like that. There are going to be times when everything seems to be going just fine in our recovery and other times when it looks like we just can’t do anything right. At times like this, it’s important to remember our strategies for dealing with darkness. Talk with our sponsor and trusted advisors. Get on top of the situation and don’t allow ourselves to sink into despair.

Remember, too, that darkness is usually temporary, much like cravings and urges. If we can get past the initial period where it descends upon us, we’re on our way to getting past it. If we have continued difficulty doing so, it may be that we need to consult a professional therapist who can help us learn how to better cope.

How often have we rebuked ourselves for our lack of progress? Do we chastise ourselves because we haven’t achieved this or that recovery goal sooner? How many of us can honestly admit that we haven’t shortchanged our efforts by constantly focusing on what we’ve failed to accomplish, rather than acknowledging what we’ve already done?

The only way we’re going to start seeing progress is to begin the hard work of recovery. There’s no other way to look at it. We have to begin before we can get anywhere. Isn’t that the truth in any kind of journey? You don’t arrive where you want to go unless and until you first step foot on the path. Recovery is no different, although it is a lifelong journey and not a destination. You’re not going to be at the end of the path. You will always be on the path.

What about those of us who are just beginning our recovery journey? When we haven’t yet accomplished anything measurable in our recovery, we can’t really have anything to show for it, right? Actually, this is not true and here’s why. When we are entering recovery, we already have achieved a significant milestone. What is that? We’ve gone through treatment, gotten clean and sober, and have passed the difficult hurdle of making that first big decision: to live in sobriety.

None of us should discount the magnitude of this accomplishment. Certainly, it didn’t come easily. We likely agonized over the decision to go into drug rehab for quite some time before we actually did it. For some of us, we may have begun treatment only to chicken out, lured back into our drugs of choice. We may have been in and out of rehab several times before it finally "took" and we got clean and stayed that way. Still, whether it was our first time clean or our 10th time sober, it is an accomplishment – and a big one.

So, let’s say that we’re just now entering the 12-step rooms, figuring out what recovery is all about, and feeling a little nervous and uncertain about where to go from here. How do we start getting somewhere? We begin at the beginning. We go to meetings, listen to what’s being said in the rooms. We put on our to-do list the task of finding a sponsor. This has to be a priority, since we’re not going to be able to figure out what all recovery involves until we have a knowledgeable guide to help us navigate it.

Once we have a sponsor, we can start learning about the principles of recovery and gradually work up to doing the work of recovery, beginning with the Twelve Steps. Even before we tackle step one, just having secured a sponsor is an accomplishment of which we can be proud. We’ve analyzed the situation, figured out who we wanted to be our sponsor, approached that person and were accepted as a sponsee. This is proactive action that we have taken and it has resulted in tangible accomplishment. See, we have gotten somewhere because we’ve started right where we are and moved forward.

What happens if we get stuck somewhere along the way? What if we experience a relapse or have some major setback that throws us for a loop and causes us to doubt our recovery is real or to stagnate and fail to move forward? Think about a physical journey here as an analogy. In almost every journey, something unexpected happens. Nothing is always totally planned out and unforeseen developments naturally occur. It isn’t what happens that’s important, but what we decide to do about it.

This also holds true in recovery. We can have a plan for dealing with the unexpected and this is something that we likely worked out while we were still in rehab and then fleshed out together with our sponsor or therapist in our early days of recovery. Then, when some challenge or obstacle occurs, we have some inkling what to do and how to handle it. That doesn’t mean that we’ll always follow through exactly to the letter what we planned, but it does give us a roadmap or a blueprint from which to proceed.

To be most effective, we should frequently revisit our recovery plans, our various strategies for dealing with the unexpected, for how to cope with cravings and urges, overcoming various obstacles and challenges that come our way. Revising our plans to reflect the successes and accomplishments we’ve already experienced is another way to start getting somewhere – and be able to recognize our achievements.