Who among us hasn’t had a different sort of life in mind? If we’re like most people, where we find ourselves today is a far cry from what we thought our life would be. Some of that is due, of course, to the many months and years we spent locked away in our addiction, even if we didn’t think we were addicted at the time. It’s funny how life seems to slip past us while we’re involved in our activities. We don’t seem to give the passing time much thought until we arrive at some milestone and look back at years of missed opportunities, failed attempts, savaged and destroyed relationships and so on.

For some of us, those memories are so painful that we want to just obliterate them and start over. Well, now that we’re in recovery, we can make good on the second part of that wish. It is time now for us to start over. Now is our opportunity to start on the path toward living the life we truly want for ourselves. Forget about what happened before, at least from the standpoint of closing the door on the future. What we did then does not make us who we are now.

In other words, we are not chained to the past or destined to forever make the same mistakes. We do have free will, after all, so it is up to us to decide what we want to do from this day forward – starting today.

So what if the plans we made before didn’t turn out? Maybe it’s time to revisit our goals and make some new ones. Could it be, after all, that we rushed into crafting our recovery plan and never thought to go back again and consider that our wants and needs change over time? As we continue along our recovery path, we learn many new things, are exposed to countless opportunities, any one of which could point us in another direction. Perhaps this isn’t something that we had thought ever possible for us before, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a viable future that we can work toward.

This is not to say that we can just decide we’re going to achieve some lofty goal just because we want to, not going through the necessary steps and doing the work required to secure it. Every goal has interim steps, points of accomplishment that we have to get to and beyond in order to advance to the next level. It doesn’t matter if it is a university degree or buying a house, there are ways to get there – and ways to fail. If we sit around and become so engrossed in our own troubles, focused on the past instead of on the present, we will be allowing life to slip away from us. We will find ourselves looking back at some point and wondering what in the world happened while we weren’t looking.

Resolve to do something about this today. Make a plan, even if it only comprehends today. Work toward achieving the results you want with everything you’ve got. Start small, and make your plan workable. It doesn’t matter what your goal is, just have the goal and put together an action plan to achieve it.

Let’s say it’s to stay sober today. That’s pretty much what we all want in early recovery, and this is both a major goal and a daily goal. But it is a workable goal, if we remain focused on doing what we need to do for ourselves in recovery, seek help when we need it, participate in the 12-step recovery process, and take good care of ourselves.

Just concentrate on today. Don’t obsess over the future or allow ourselves to become mired in the past. Put one foot in front of the other and keep taking small steps toward the future that we want for ourselves. It isn’t rocket science. It’s just common sense. The best part of all is that this strategy works. Life can be what we want it to be. It can fall in line with our plans, providing we become adept at constantly revising them as we make continued progress. After all, we are constantly evolving, and life and our plans will do the same. This is a good thing and a concept we should learn to embrace in recovery.

Let’s be clear about something. When we are in recovery, one of the hardest things for us to do is to allow ourselves permission to succeed. There are so many reasons why we might fail, and don’t we all unconsciously heap even more of them on top of what we already carry around with us? Every time we hear of someone we know who’s relapsed or slipped to one degree or another, doesn’t this add to our self-imposed litany of why we, too, may one day fail?

It doesn’t have to be this way, and those in the 12-step rooms who have been successful over the long haul know that it is truly possible not only to succeed in our recovery efforts but also to believe that we deserve to be successful.

What? Do we dare to think that we somehow deserve to be successful? Don’t we have lingering angst over all the harm we’ve already caused to others as well as ourselves? Naturally, we each have something we regret, maybe even a lot of somethings. But that’s just it. The more we have in our past that we bring with us into today, and the more weight we give to it, the more that weight is likely to begin to drag us down. The weight of our past transgressions, given its tendency, will automatically seek to pull us back into the pit we’ve clawed our way out of.

While this isn’t a counseling session and not advice on how to overcome trauma and a horrific past, suffice to say that there is professional help available if we can’t seem to get past the past. For those of us, however, who just need a little help giving ourselves permission to shine, take heart. It all begins with the recognition that we can shine, if we let ourselves.

There’s no law that says so, nor is it widely held as a truth among those new to recovery. But talk with our sponsor and the old-timers in the rooms and we will discern that there’s deep wisdom in the recommendation to believe in ourselves. We have to believe that we can do whatever we set out to do, especially if we’re embracing recovery and committing to it with every particle of our being.

What does it mean to shine? Does it mean that we have to be perfect, always successful, never having a doubt or a concern or never being stumped over an issue or problem? If that was true, no one would ever shine, would they? Actually, what we mean by shining is to feel the blossoming of our spirit as we enjoy some small measure of success in our recovery efforts. It doesn’t have to be a big accomplishment to count. Every small effort we make that results in the achievement of that particular goal is reason enough for us to shine, to glow, as it were, over our accomplishment.

Shining isn’t gloating. It isn’t smugness or complacency or an I’m-better-than-you-are attitude. Shining is a pure expression of joy and happiness, of contentment over the realization of a job well done. Again, the task we complete may be a small one, maybe completing our first week of sobriety, or our first month. In addition to the recognition and encouragement from our sponsor and fellow group members, we should also feel a stirring of hope and pride ourselves. We did this, not alone, of course, since we have the support of our sponsor, 12-step group and family members and loved ones. But it was our decision to adhere to our course of action that resulted in the success we achieved.

We deserve to shine, but not to sit back and think that everything will just progress on its own from here with no action required on our part. Sadly, it doesn’t work that way. Sad for those who think that recovery should be easy or intuitive. Not sad for those who have a firm grasp on the fact that recovery is hard work and requires continuous work in order to achieve the desired results.

But let’s get back to shining, and where we go from here. When we shine, the light that emanates from within is often an inspiration to others. It isn’t that we’re any better or smarter or luckier than the next person in the rooms, just that they’re able to see that recovery is working for us – even in some small way. If we can realize success, then others may begin to believe they can, too. This is all part of the group dynamic of support and encouragement. What goes around comes around.

So, get started today and give ourselves permission to shine. Shine, indeed, and find out how we can extend this positive gift to others by virtue of our willingness to do so.

Now that we’re in recovery, it’s time to think about something that’s very important to our continuing ability to make progress, to have hopes, and to live out our dreams. Many of us have relegated our former hopes and dreams to the back burner, figuring that we either don’t deserve them or that we simply don’t have the time to pursue them. We’re too busy just trying to maintain our sobriety.

While this is a normal feeling to have in early recovery, when we’re so focused on learning about the principles of recovery, getting acclimated with and beginning work on the Twelve Steps, and putting our lives back in order, once we’ve established our footing, we do need to re-examine our belief-set on this subject.

Without something to look forward to and to work hard to achieve, we are likely to become stagnated in our recovery. It isn’t that we’ll relapse, necessarily, but our lives will decidedly be without that extra element of excitement. Some may even call it a loss of joy, for without dreams and desires to do something different without our lives, we simply exist day to day.

What joy is there in that? Yes, we can and should do all that we can each and every day to get stronger and more grounded in recovery. This is what we’ve committed to and we know that we can never take recovery for granted. The moment we do we step into dangerous territory.

Still, that doesn’t mean that we have to toss away all our former hopes and dreams. Maybe we wanted to go on to college or resume getting our degree. Perhaps it was a desire to travel the world, explore caves in the Southwest, learn how to scuba or mountain climb. Just because we are now in recovery, that doesn’t mean that we are dead. We’re only going to feel numb and lifeless if we allow ourselves to be.

A good way around feeling trapped is to continue to pursue our dreams. If we don’t currently have a goal, start getting involved in some activity that helps broaden our horizons, gives us an opportunity to learn something new, to meet new people, and to become excited about new prospects and opportunities. It’s from there that we’ll find ourselves gravitating toward something that really excites and motivates us. We’ll begin imagining or envisioning ourselves doing this or that with our lives and imagining how our lives will change if we venture in this direction or that.

Keep in mind that if we are passionate about some line of work, some pastime or recreational activity, we’ll find energy we never thought we had. When we’re involved in doing something we love, we’re engaged, energized, excited, enthused and we will pursue a goal that allows us to follow our dreams with a vigor that’s nothing short of miraculous.

The best part about living the life we imagine is that it makes us feel more complete, more satisfied, and more joyous. We’re better able to share our joy and our happiness with others. This makes our life in recovery all the more precious.

Maybe we’re afraid to venture forward. We haven’t had much success or practice, perhaps, in creating goals and working toward them. That’s okay. There’s always a first time and this is as good a time as any to get started. Take a few minutes each day to think about the opportunities that have presented themselves to us. If we find that we’ve encountered someone new who invites us to get involved in a new activity that’s conducive to our new sober lifestyle, and we like the prospect of learning about this new activity and where it may lead, make it a point to follow through on it. Don’t just let it pass and think that there’ll always be a next time.

Allowing opportunities to pass us by because we think we’re too busy or it will take too much time is our narrow little inner voice seeking to rob us of the kind of future we could dream for ourselves. Silence that negative voice and embrace the chance to learn and grow and live out the life we imagine. We can do it, but we have to first give ourselves permission to go ahead. Then, go ahead and take action to make our dreams a reality.

If we’re sitting around waiting for inspiration to strike us, it’s likely that we’ll be sitting a long time. That’s not a quote from anyone notable, but it is a fact. Nothing against daydreaming and envisioning a future we want for ourselves, because that is definitely necessary for us to begin to see something other than what we already know. But it takes more than daydreaming or writing plans down on paper for us to become inspired. We actually have to take action.

Why is this so important? Why can’t we just be inspired, like an artist staring at a blank canvas and picking up a brush and creating a masterpiece? Think about this for a minute. No artist just starts flinging paint on a canvas without some sort of an idea. It may not be fully formed at the time he begins putting paint to canvas, but the action of picking up the brush and determining which color to use first is both an action and a source of inspiration.

Another example is a writer sitting at a computer (in the old days, it was a typewriter, for those of use of a certain age). The dilemma of the blank page has long dogged writers. The solution has always been to begin writing. It doesn’t matter what gets written, as long as the process begins. Writers rewrite. That’s how they get better. That’s how words change from a vague conglomeration of thoughts to a cohesive whole. Revise, revise, and revise some more. That’s the mantra of all good writers.

It’s the same thing with us in recovery seeking to find inspiration. We will find it as we’re working toward a goal. It may turn out that what we thought we would find is something totally different in the end. We may become inspired to take another direction, to alter our plan to accommodate something that we’ve just thought of while we were in the process of doing. That’s inspiration and that’s a sign that we’re on the right path.

What if we feel that we’re incapable of inspiration, that we’ve never been very clever or original and, therefore, cannot possibly have a new or unique idea? This falls into the realm of rationalization. I never did before, so I can’t possibly do so now. There was a word that once was very popular and that is "balderdash." In other words, that’s a lot of hooey. It’s just another excuse we tell ourselves when we’re too lazy or too afraid to do something to make a difference in our lives.

If we want to continue to stagnate in our recovery, one of the quickest ways to do that is to sit around and do nothing. Nothing begets nothing and results in, you guessed it, no change. No change and no inspiration, we might add.

Sometimes we can find inspiration in the most unlikely places. We may, for example, think of an idea or a solution for a problem or issue that’s been bothering us while we are on a walk or cooking or working out. We may come up with an answer while we are in church or digging in the garden. Our brains are active while our hands and other body parts are active. We can and do multi-task and that’s a good thing.

The next time we want to feel inspired, pick up something and work it. Whether that’s a broom that we use to clean out the garage or a mop we scrub the floor with or anything else, for that matter, just do it. Get busy. Our minds will also take the signal and float ideas and concepts that we may find useful in some fashion or another.

If this feels a little strange at first, that’s okay. We will become accustomed to the creative process in time. And that’s another word for inspiration. But inspiration won’t just land in our laps. We need to be active in order for it to find us.

Are we stuck at a certain plateau in our recovery? Does it seem as if we’re treading water, not so much sinking but not making any headway, either? Could it be that we need to look at dreaming a bit more so that we can envision a different and more progressive outcome?

This isn’t as far-fetched as it may sound at first. If we haven’t allowed ourselves the time and, indeed, the permission, to dream, then we don’t have a clue what we are missing, do we? Maybe we have been so caught up in our daily schedules of meetings and action items on our recovery agenda – and, rightly so – that we haven’t given any thought to just imagining a slightly different trajectory.

There’s actually nothing wrong with being wholly committed to our day-to-day recovery plans. In fact, we cannot make any demonstrative progress in recovery if we do not attend to these all-important duties. But there is also weight to another idea: Just as we maintain our sobriety by a well-appointed regimen, we also need to expand our horizons. That requires that we do a little imagining of what might be, what could be, and what we can bring about as a result of our actions.

Already the arguments clamor in our mind to be heard. We don’t have time to dream. We don’t like our dreams because they’re too painful and reminders of the past. We don’t know how to dream. What good can dreaming possibly do?

Analyzing these briefly in succession, we should be able to dispel such ideas.

• We all have time to dream. After all, we have to sleep each night or sometime each day. During that period when our waking thoughts are at rest, our subconscious takes over and brings about dreams. So, we all have time to dream.
• While nightmares and painfully vivid reminders of our past misdeeds are tough to handle, we can gradually learn how to prepare our subconscious to create more positive scenarios. One way is to make a list of things that we want to accomplish and look them over before we go to sleep. If there is a question or a way to approach a certain goal, we should put that question to our subconscious and have it mulled over during our sleep. We may dream the solution and wake up knowing it, or work out a problem that has been causing us distress. This kind of dream work is highly productive and beneficial to many forward-thinking individuals.
• There is no primer on how to dream. We just do. But as the previous point establishes, we can help our dream work along with some pre-sleep planning. Focus on what we want to overcome, or how to solve a particular problem in the most effective way, or concentrate on imagining a future traveling down a certain path. By sending such signals to our unconscious, we are setting the stage for the dream to come.
• Dreaming is a necessary part of our restful state. Whether we realize it or not, dreaming helps us purge unnecessary or frightening emotions, clarify problems and create solutions, and open up new horizons for us to pursue. When we awaken from a particularly memorable dream, one that we remember when we open our eyes, and the lingering fabric of that dream causes us to smile and feel hopeful, this can and should impact our day’s activities. It creates a little boost of momentum, galvanizes us to work toward certain goals, and inspires us to create new ones.

Once we give ourselves the freedom to dream, we can take a few moments to dream or imagine different paths that we might take in our waking hours. But after we dream, we must do. That’s the secret of all great men and women. They dream, and then they do.