The Promise of Recovery

We often hear about the promises – and sometimes we feel a little cheated because we think they should get here faster and be as good as that guy’s (the one sitting next to you bragging about his new ski lodge in Aspen).  I remember once I was at a meeting in Beverly Hills where the guy got up to talk about his recovery. It was a 20-minute brag-fest in which he described his money, cars, job, houses, and all the ladies who were throwing themselves at him (even said something to the effect, and I’m not kidding, that he had gotten to “know” most of the women in that particular room).  Gross.

Unfortunately, I do think there were people in that room salivating that this is what they would get too if they could put together five or so years of sobriety. But the promises really don’t have anything to do with houses, cars, and babes.  They have to do with finding serenity and peace with yourself and the world you live in.  Learning how to accept the things you cannot change and so on.  In my opinion, the promises are about how you live in the world and your ability to live life with equanimity and grace – not forced grace – but a natural response to the world that is healthier and happier.  Glass half full vs. glass half empty.

This is not to say that sobriety doesn’t make it more possible to be successful in your career, relationships, and finances. You are certainly more likely to be financially secure if you aren’t drunk five nights a week and hung over at work the next day.   But I think it does mean your priorities change.  Having good relationships, awesome friendships – we start to understand how those are a lot more fulfilling than owning an Aspen ski lodge.  Don’t get me wrong – being rich isn’t a bad thing, just being rich in money does not make your life rich.  I know some pretty miserable wealthy people and some very happy working class people.

“I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.” Bill W